Jade's Babblings

I talked to my manager today and told him I've decided to take the new software job permanently. I'm going up as a temp right now but I'm much more likely to get hired up there than in power link and also this job has more opportunities in general.

So it's just going to be me, B and J. I am so excited about this. Terrified too.

I went to therapy last night and it went well. I have to ask her about that sensory thing next time. I forgot to this time because we were talking about work so much. I can't believe that the next time I see her will be October 12th. Where has the fall season gone? It's going to be New England winter before we know it. Horrible.

I just cleaned out my cubicle this morning. It was weird to look around and see it empty. A little sad. I've been there since February after all.

We're meeting with Father Kevin again tomorrow still. Then saturday is the Wizard World con in Boston and Sunday I'm doing a walk a thon in our town with a couple other 501st members. It's going to be a busy weekend. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I'm still hearing bitching on the Catholic forum about John and I raising our kids by going to church and meetings. I don't see what the big deal is. People need to butt out and stop freaking out about things that don't concern them.

There was this one girl who was really after me about it. She keeps picking at every little thing I say. So today, just to be a jerk mind you, I posted "Fine. You've convinced me. Raising them in two religions is wrong. I guess they'll only be JWs." LOL.

Yesterday I was walking out of the building with Kirsty so she could come say hi to John (who was picking me up for therapy). Kirsty and I went to get on the elevator to take it down to the parking level and as we both stepped on the elevator swayed a little. We both just looked at one another and ran off the elevator and towards the stairs. We have a lot of the same paranoias. It's quite funny.

I guess that's all to update on right now. If I think of more, I'll add it. Now I'm off to change my avatar. I don't feel like being a witch today. (Maybe tomorrow. . . )

Ray IMed me yesterday and apologized. That's fine and all. I'm glad he did. But it doesn't make me entirely trust that he's going to fill out this paperwork in a timely manner.

We have an appointment with fr Kevin on Friday. After speaking with Ray I realized I had some extra questions. Only disappointing thing is that was the night me and the girls from work were going out for drinks. But now we might go right down the street from the church (ironic ain't it?) so I can go for one drink right after work.

I MIGHT be getting hired. At the very least I may stay on as a temp and go upstairs so I can stay with license keys. I'm really psyched about that. I get to stay with B and J!! I'm finally making female friends for the first time in my life. No one will ever be as cool as Sarah, but I can at least have people that I can stand to go out for a drink with and hang out and have fun. I'm very excited about that. :)

That's all I've got right now. Therapy tonight. I definitely NEED it after crying at work yesterday and having to deal with this annullment crap and stuff. Phew. Craziness.

Sort of remembering why I got a divorce. . . .

Please don't anyone think I'm stupid enough to believe that Ray would be happy I'm getting remarried, but I didn't think it would be quite as bitchy as it has been. I emailed him yesterday and told him that there will be some paperwork from the Catholic church showing up sometime soon and that John and I wanted to get it taken care of because it can take a while. So we got into it on MSN messenger. It wasn't pretty. I'm very frustrated right now. I just told him, "Look, fill it out however you want. Say I was a terrible wife. Or just send it back blank and tell the tribunal that you think this is all BS. I don't care. Just do it within a reasonable amount of time." And he says, "Oh, they'll definitely hear my side."

So then we got into it some more cuz I told him that sounded like a threat and such. . . . ::sigh:: It just wasn't good. It ended with him saying he'd see what he could do (like it's hard to just mail back blank paperwork??) and that I couldn't have picked a worse time to do this. But of course he won't explain why that is. Guilt trip within a guilt trip. You gotta love it.

He is just so . . . .stubborn!

I don't care if he says I'm a complete bitch and he just wants me to die. All that's gonna do is make the tribunal be even more on my side. I just want him to do it quickly so I can get this over with. I've complied with what he wants me to do in regards to us. I barely talk to him anymore because I know his therapist said it's not good for him. All I'm asking is this one favor - say whatever the hell you want, but mail it back QUICKLY. Why can't he do this for me? I know he said he'd "see what he can do", but that's not good enough. Argh!

This is so dumb. I just want this taken care of. I already got a divorce. I don't want to have to go through this right now.

And along the lines of stress and such. . . . I slept until 10:30 both days this weekend because I am burnt out. I missed the meeting Sunday, which blows. I'm going Tuesday even if it kills me.

Friday night was a blast and I totally needed it. I drove out to Sarah's after work and went to see "Flightplan" with her and Paul. It was a good movie. Not great, but good. We had so much fun playing "either/or" and talking about all sorts of insane things. I didn't get home until after midnight but it was so worth it to just go out and have fun with my friends.

I'm still considering people for bridesmaids. Sarah is of course my maid of honor and Sadie will be the flower girl. I'd like two more girls to be on my side of the wedding party at least. It's not that I'm desperately searching for people. . . .I have a few in mind. I'm just scared they're going to think I"m insane for asking since they aren't my best friends or anything. I mean, they are friends, but I only see them occasionally. . .

I'm considering one of John's cousins too. I really like her and she'd be a total blast, but she lives really far away. . . I have quite a few people to think about. . . It's just a matter of them asking me, "Why would you pick ME?"

You know when you are so stressed that you don't know whether you are going to laugh or cry? We all just had a moment like that in here.

Somehow we started talking about a Seinfeld episode where they were talking about pretzels or some such thing. Then B messed up on some tiny thing so J pretended to yell at her and I said something about "That's it, you're out of the herd!" That's from Ice Age. So Sandi and I were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down our faces and the other three were just staring at us.

Now I just started laughing over nothing and they all looked at me funny. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," I said, "I'm just reliving it. . ." ::crying::

Then they started laughing at me and B said "reeses pieces" in a lisp and Kirsty sprayed her ginger ale all over J's chair. (the reeses pieces is a personal joke between all of us now, I think.)

I. . . .need. . . to. . . .go. . . home. . . .

At least, that's what I wish I could say. I don't think that's very "customer service" of me though. We've been in training over a week now and we're all stressed to the max. I am definitely recognizing more key terms in the emails people are sending us, but I have yet to complete an entire case by myself. I always have to call Kirsty (the trainer) over to help me. I suppose it'll get better. . .The only sucky thing is that I don't even know how long I'm going to be on this. It could be a couple weeks. . .a couple months. . .who knows.

A little "Catholic" update for you - We called Father Kevin Wednesday to see if he had heard back from canon law about my need for an annullment or not. He had and it's not good news. Turns out, I need the annullment. ::sigh:: Can life be easy just for a few minutes? Please?

So I rushed to get my annullment questionaire filled out and find FOUR witnesses who will fill out a similar questionaire. They don't even have to do it favorably towards me. I could be depicted as the worst wife in the world, but as long as there were grounds for divorce and such I'll be fine. The witnesses just have to have known me when I was married. I had a really hard time choosing people. A few 501st members were really uncomfortable when John and I started dating - people whom I had considered really good friends - and they were very awkward around us. It was hard for me to see why because no one had even been friends with Ray really. To me it was perfectly logical. To them, I guess it came as a bit of a shock.

I finally decided on my friend Bob and also Aaron, both from the NEG. And then of course Sarah and Paul. Hopefully it doesn't matter that they have the same mailing addy because they are a couple. It's not like they're going to collaborate to lie or something.

So we met with Father Kevin last night for about an hour. We had to rush out to Charlton right before that to get a copy of my marriage license. They needed that, a divorce certificate and my baptismal records. I told FK I don't have the baptism thing. I don't think JWs even keep them. They just say how many people were baptized at the end of the year. So he looked over my paperwork and asked me if I had any questions.. .

It's out of his hands now. It gets turned over to the diocese. And I think I even have to meet with a tribunal or something. I am SO nervous. I hate this. Then FK asked how my day was. My eyes started welling up. I am just so stressed. I never thought I'd have to go through with this annullment thing and my job is really driving me crazy right now. . . I'm on the verge of tears practically every day.

The annullment sucks because we can't reserve the church for our wedding day until it goes through. So what am I supposed to do? Not reserve a reception hall, not book a photographer? I could go on and on with all the stuff we have to do. By the time this thing goes through the church will probably be taken for that day and we'll have to switch everything around anyway. Father Kevin pointed out that a lot of people feel like they have closure after going through this, even though they are civilly divorced already. But I'm not going to get closure. Jehovah doesn't care if I get an annullment through the Catholic church or not. John pointed out no, but he does care that I'm trying to make John happy and that we're trying to get married and do the right thing.

I guess he has a point.

I want one moment to be easy. Please.

One bright spot - I'm going to the movies with Sarah tonight. I'll be leaving right from work to go out to her house and then we can head out for a girls' night out. I'm very much looking forward to some care free goofiness.

The meeting went very well. I'll repost the update that I just posted to the Catholic forum because it took long enough to type and I'm not going to retype it and reword it and all that. So if something seems slightly off, just remember it was originally intended for a Catholic forum where I've been a member for a little while and have had some ups and downs with the people there. Here's my summary:

We met with Father Kevin (here on known as "FK" because I do not want to type it over and over again) at 6:30 thursday. My FI (fiancee) went to confession/reconcilliation earlier in the day to get that over with so that I wouldn't have to really talk about too many details. FK is just about my FI's age, a couple years older, so he's very easy going and not all the letter of the law type of priest, which was great.

We sat and talked until 9:30 at night!! The first half hour was mostly about the annullment. He just took down some general info like how old I was when I got married and what religion we were and if it was a religious or civil ceremony. He should have put a call in yesterday to their canon law contact in their area about if I will even need an annullment because I'm not baptized or married under the trinity. He seemed to think we wouldn't but he said he's not an expert so he should hear back about it by at least next Wednesday. I just want them to say I don't need it so that for once in my life things will be a little easier than they could be.

I told him about this forum and how helpful some of the people have been and how that's how I knew at least some of the stuff about the annullment. He seemed very pleased that most had been pleasant to me. I told him how the first time I asked a question about me and FI getting married I was told "you and your friend should part ways. . ." He was totally shocked and said that's not what the church teaches at all and that as long as you are both spiritual people you can find things in common and share that with one another. It's more difficult, yes, but you shouldn't not get married jjust because of religion. I really liked that. Then I told him the next time I came back and tried again everyone was much more accepting so I must just have gotten the "old school" people on here the first time. I think he might even check this forum out. He said it sounded interesting.

So we got the annullment/background stuff out of the way and then the three of us just sat and chatted about religion and other things for a couple hours. He told us about his training in Rome and how he was a hermit for a couple years and stuff like that. All very interesting. I always like learning about other religions. And he asked me questions about JWs because he didn't really know anything about us at all. I told him about how we don't celebrate holidays, believe in the trinity, the cross, etc. He was very interested and understanding.

My FI was really happy that I took such an interest and was asking so many questions. I found it all very informative. I did tell him I wasn't interested in any way in converting but that I have no problem with balancing out our religious lives now and also when we have children. I told him how I don't care if they go to "grammy and gramps'" house to open presents or something but I don't want a Christmas tree in my house for example. He didn't seeme shocked by that at all and was just fine with all of it. He said that a group from his church even gets together with. . . I can't remember the name of the relligion now, but it was one that is very different from Catholocism. . .and they get together with a group from that church and pray together because that's the one thing they have in common. Isn't that nice?

So to sum up, it went REALLY well. And I asked if we don't have to have the annullment what will we have to go through to get married? He said we'd just put through the "disparity of cult" forms (that only takes a few days) and I laughed and made some joke about how I was never so glad to be called a cult in my life. He thought that was funny. Very easy going guy. Then he said we just make an appointment to attend a pre cana class. But in their district it only lasts one day, not a whole weekend. Rock! lol. And then we can go to a concert that the organist has at the church every once in a while and pick out all our wedding songs and verses and stuff. Kinda neat. We asked if he'd marry us and he said he'd love to and we also asked how popular October is in the church and he said it's pretty much wide open and it shouldn't be a problem.

So, here's hoping that I don't need the annullment. I haven't prayed about it yet. I know that we pretty much pray to the same God, but I feel kind of silly praying to Jehovah about not needing a Catholic annullment.

So there's my story. Hope you all enjoyed my long winded review of it.

So thanks for listening and have a great day all.



And. . . .END SCENE!

Quick update on my lunch break from training.

Went to therapy last night. We're going to try a new technique (well, new to me, not "NEW") maybe the time after next. It involves using both sides of your brain at the same time through stimulation of sound (through headphones) to get you past traumatic experiences. Don't ask me how it works, it just does. Works for me!

We're meeting with Father Kevin tonight. Lordy lordy. . .Oop, I mean. . .Eh, I got nothing. It should be interesting though. I wish I could tape record it just for fun cuz I'm sure it's gonna be a hoot.

I was on a break from training today and found a sticky note on my comp as I passed by asking me to "return to the conference room training" because I left like two minutes early to go to my appointment. Sheesh. I was told by the trainer to ignore it so I shall.

Wedding expo on Sunday with Sarah!! and that's all the wedding stuff I shall mention. I'm trying to stay away from it since I'm not even engaged yet. Seems silly to talk about it and plan all this stuff. But the annullment's gotta be done and getting a place for a reception is often difficult and can not be planned less than six months in advance (at LEAST) so . . . I'm planning a bit.

Time to eat the rest of my lunch. I've only got like a half hour left. ::sigh::

No training again today. But I did get a little job to do that filled my morning. We needed instruction manuals made up so I went on the site and downloaded the word document (135 pages) and printed out three copies and then tracked down binders and three hole punched all of it. I even made a cute little cover for everyone’s binder. Yea. . .I’m sad sometimes.

Training begins tomorrow promptly at 8:00 a.m. in the conference room. And from now until the 28^th (that’s an entire TWO WEEKS in case you were wondering) that’s where I’ll be. Cramped up in a tiny room with four other people learning about something that’s going to take an entire two weeks to learn so it can’t be an easy thing to do. We get a break for lunch at noon. I knew it! I take mine at 2:00 usually. Now the days are really going to drag. Also, I need a system in the training and since it seems I’m like an add-in or something, my laptop has not arrived yet so I’ll have to share with one of the other girls. I wish it really were “my laptop” but it can’t leave work premises.

So tomorrow I’ll be in training most of the day. I usually try to make my avatar look like what I’m wearing that day. I won’t have the chance to do that tomorrow so I’ll just go put myself in some nice comfy clothes in a strictly non-office background and you can all pretend I’m there safe and happy instead of where I really will be.

TWO WEEKS!!

I told John if I have any panic attack days I am so screwed. At least my boss is letting me leave early Friday for the 501^st event we’ve got out there. Movies in the park. I have to go through my Boushh costume tonight and check it over to make sure it’s troopable. See you all when I see you.

20 Random Things About Me:
The task: Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts.

Time: 10:08 AM

1. When I get a drink of water from the cooler at work, I take the cup off the tallest stack because I figure that one is probably not paid attention to much.

2. I can’t eat cheetos in front of people because the cheese sticks to your fingers and I have a thing about not licking food off my fingers, but I hate to use a napkin because it just feels icky.

3. I hate change. Changing from winter to spring? I have a couple days of freaking out.

4. One time I got a fat lip because my friend Kimmy hit me when we were horsing around.

5. I used to think WAAF was evil when Sarah listened to it in high school. Now that’s all I listen to on my drive in to work in the mornings.

6. My favorite things to receive as gifts in the entire world are stuffed animals and books. And if you can find a combo of the two – you’re golden.

7. My life revolves around my pets. Want to get me crying real quick? All I have to do is imagine someone hurting Amelie or something and I get upset.

8. My biggest goal in life is to become a mother. Has been since I was four.

9. I wish I hadn’t dropped out of college

10. even though I’m divorced, I don’t regret my first marriage

11. when I was younger I used to pray every night for a brother or sister, for the house not to burn down, and I would thank Jehovah for all my pets.

12. I actually don’t mind going to mass

13. I’m doing the Catholic wedding thing for John, but secretly (not so much anymore) I’d really like to get married in that big beautiful church. Just because it’s so pretty, not because of the Catholic thing.

14. I am very open to suggestion. If someone says I don’t look well, I start to feel sick.

15. One of my favorite memories in the entire world is watching Return of the Jedi and Logan’s Run on cable with my dad.

16. Sarah is my best fried in the whole wide world and when I get reinstated I want her to be too so that I can talk to her all the time without worrying.

17. I really dislike the name John picked out for our first daughter but I’m going to let him do it anyway – Lillith

18. even though I get really stressed out with my life choices sometimes, I can’t imagine being happier than I am with John.

19. One time I was so upset when I was a teenager that my mom took away all my pills and knives.

20. I wish I could keep my maiden name when I get married, but my new one is nice too.

Time: 10:16 a.m.

Tagged:
John
Sarah
Diane
Paul
Jason
Riccardo
Jodi
Brian

Sorry, I had to think of eight people. If you don't want to fill it out don't worry about it. Oh, and if you don't have a blog (cough cough Paul cough) you can just type it out and leave it in my notes.

John’s grandmother is in the hospital (his mom’s mother) so we went to Boston to visit her yesterday. About an hour drive each way in the backseat of his parents’ car. We made it there alive though – always a plus. I think we got there around 11:00 and stayed until about 3:30. Not really that long, but hospitals give me the creeps so it seemed a bit longer. John pulled a neck muscle as we were getting out of the car at the hospital so he couldn’t really be comfortable either. He couldn’t move much so we all just sat in the hospital room. His Nana’s sisters showed up and a couple of their daughters. And Valerie’s sister Lena was there. I like Lena a lot. She’s really nice and she reminds me of Elaine, Sarah’s mom. Three of Val’s sisters are nurses so you can imagine the doctors got an earful from them!

On the way home my mom called me. She said that Twitchel, a cat we’ve had about 12 years, wandered off last night with the other two cats - Lilly and Bailey - and Twitchel never came home. He was really sick. He’d lost a lot of weight and had a breathing disease. But we’ve never had a pet that wandered off to die before and I think it’s really tough on my mom because she wants to know where he is and make sure an animal didn’t get him. Honestly my first thought was some nasty neighborhood children with baseball bats, but I don’t like to dwell on it and in a small town like that they probably would have gotten caught by somebody. I felt silly getting off the phone and being all upset over a pet when Val’s mom is sick in the hospital. It was upsetting though.

We got home and I made John suffer through some wedding stuff. He was quite helpful with some opinions though so that’s good. Then we watched Maid in Manhattan on TV. I was never able to watch it when it first came out because every time I saw Ralph Fiennes I felt ill. I had just seen “Red Dragon” which was awesome but doesn’t exactly make you want to see him making out with ANY girl EVER so I never got around to seeing it. We watched it last night though and it was cute. A little too “easy” if you ask me. Most love stories they go through a few more difficulties than that, but it was cutesy and fun to watch.

Every so often throughout the evening I would get this feeling of nervous energy run across my whole body. I was worrying about the training that I was starting today. I had a fitful night’s sleep with some really bothersome dreams. I dreamed I went skiing (I’ve never been in my life) with some friends from the 501^st and Desiree (who’s disfellowshipped too, but I haven’t seen her in a year). There were lots of Jehovah’s Witnesses there. Ray and his brothers were there and this girl Alicia who always disliked me because I married Ray. She was a CHILD, literally. She’s like three or four years younger than me. Ray would smile at me occasionally cuz I probably looked uncomfortable or something and Alicia saw him once and started yelling at me that I shouldn’t’ be there because I was DFd and all this stuff. I stormed out and went back to my room. I sat outside of it in the car. For some reason a couple of the birds were with me so I sat and talked to them. John called me (don’t know why he wasn’t with me) and I complained to him for a bit. Then he had to go and one of my NEG friends called me. I only got to explain a bit of what happened and then they said they had to go and I was like, “Okay, but can I call you later? I’d really like to call you later.” Because I was upset and all. They said no, that I’d just “get in the way” or something to that effect. It was very odd. I remember thinking even in the dream that that seemed odd.

It’s not hard to interpret that one I don’t think. So I came into work today feeling all sick (woke up feeling sick) and went over to ask the lady what time training started. She said they’re not doing it today, maybe tomorrow, she’d let me know. So I pumped myself up for nothing. I spent my whole weekend worrying for nothing. I mean, I still have to go through it probably tomorrow, but I at least could have slept last night and now I won’t sleep tonight. Sand Weasel and his friend Sean are coming over this evening to help John with his 501st costume. It'll be nice to have company over. I have NO idea what we're going to feed them though.

I think Dez being in my dream had to do with her calling a couple nights ago. She told me this other JW girl, Sarah that we went to Bay Path with had gotten in a car accident. Her and her husband (they’ve been married a couple years). And her husband was killed. It’s incredible to think about that happening to someone our age. A widow at 23. . .24? Crazy. I can’t imagine what she’s feeling right now and I don’t want to either. Of course Dez and I can’t call her or talk to anyone in the family or anything to find out more. We could probably go to the memorial service but what’s the point? No one will talk to us. such is the life I chose when I made my decisions over a year ago. I can make it one more year. . . it’ll be worth it.

I've missed five meetings in a row now due to being sick and visiting Nana in the hospital and such. If I don't go tomorrow night they're going to wonder what on earth happened to me. The sucky thing is, even though I'm going regularly, I know it's going to be over a year before I'm reinstated (at the least) because they're going to start wondering why I haven't sent my letter in. But the JP thing would just cheapen the wedding I think. I don't want to do that. ::sigh:: I wish someone would just make up my mind for me. Then it would be said and done.

1.) go to http://www.google.com
2.) type in the single word: failure
3.) press the "I'm feeling lucky" button (instead of the google search one)
4.) Share this with your friends...

(cuz it's too dang funny)

There never is. But it's 4:20 and John's at work until 7:00. I'm sitting here in my pajamas still listening to Gunther scream and the lovebirds chirp away happily. Pixel keeps playing with her squeaky toys and getting Gunther screaming even more. Fun.

They're doing the E true hollywood story of Saved by the Bell. And I already watched "Duets" on USA and the most recent episodes of "Laguna Beach" and "My Super Sweet Sixteen". I'm so ashamed. . .

I'm not looking forward to work on Monday. My boss came over to talk to me yesterday afternoon at work and said that he has a new project for me. It still has to do with my current job, but he wants me to train on a section of the software department. That's like when someone gets software installed and they want to be able to operate it I go and run all their info and make sure they're entitled to it and then send them the license key. Apparently they picked one person from each section of customer service and I'm the one from Ken's group. That's a good thing right? I'm always so paranoid about stuff like this. Are they doing it because I'm not doing a good job at what I do now? Do they not know what else to do with me so they're creating buys work? I don't know.

It's going to involve two weeks of training he said. I asked him if I'd still be in this group and at my cubicle and stuff and the answer I got wasn't exactly a yes. He said that I would be for now and all, but that the training could always lead to other stuff. John thinks it's great. His mom started out working on the line at Bose and now she's gotten tons of promotions from all the training they kept offering her. Who knows. I guess we'll just wait and see.

Two weeks of training is going to suck though. I'll be locked up in a conference room with four other people all day long. Who knows what time they'll let us go to lunch and all that. I usually go at 2:00 because it makes my day go by faster. We'll probably have to go right at noon. Augh. And Friday I have to leave at 3:00 so that I can get home and make it out to Lynn with John so that we can do a 501st event out there. They're showing Star Wars:ANH for free and the mayor wanted some of us there. So I think there are like six or seven of us signed up. Should be fun. But I've got to leave early and I don't want that to be a problem.

On Wednesday I leave at the normal time, but I've got therapy to look forward to. Thursday is the same thing, leave at the regular time but I have to go with John to meet with his priest. Augh. That's going to be stressful beyond belief. I'm so worried about that. Priests freak me out. I get all goofy and stupid sounding and can't talk properly. Fun.

I suppose I should shower and get into actual clothing at some point. Maybe do the dishes from last night. We had Paul, Sarah and Sadie over. That was fun. Sadie was pretty quiet and colored most of the night so that John could handle it. lol. Can't wait til we have kids. hahaha.

::sigh:: Time to go stop Gunther from making squeaky toy noises.

I know, I know. It's amazing. It's phenomenal. You never thought we'd do it, but we did.
John and I picked the date of October 7th (next year, don't worry) to get married.

We’re not engaged yet, but that takes money to buy a ring and stuff. So right now we’re putting a bit into savings each week so that we can have a nice wedding next year. I’m so excited! John even let me email some places about a reception. AND we’re meeting with his priest next Thursday to go over the steps to get my marriage annulled. I mean, I’m obviously divorced already, but to get married and have them recognize John as being married in the church, I have to get my other marriage annulled by the church. It’s a long process that involves them sending Ray paperwork. Sounds fun, right?

I figure he’s either going to not fill it out at all and they’ll have to wait the maximum amount of time to hear from him before they can move on or he’s going to fill it out as venomously as he can. Neither option is appealing to me. I think when they say they are going to send the paperwork out; I will send him a nice email and explain the situation. He wants me to get reinstated. . . Well, this is the way to do that then.

John did say he would consider getting married earlier by a JP or a retired priest, maybe in the winter or early spring, and then having the “real” wedding in October still. But I don’t know if that would make it feel less real. The only reason to do that is so that I would get reinstated sooner, which would be great, don’t get me wrong. But I wonder if after I got reinstated I would get in trouble for having a “Catholic” wedding. In which case it would be better to wait and just do the one wedding anyway. I’ll have to ask someone I guess.

My mom is still all set with making the dress, which is just great from my stand point. Once again I’ll get EXACTLY the dress I want for nothing. Or at the very most for $100 for materials. Especially since this one isn’t nearly as complicated as the first one she made. I told her we should REALLY save some time and just modify that one. She laughed and said she could. I was like, “Mom. I’m kidding. John would kill me.” : )

Did you see I’m banned from Tony’s site? Whoop de doo. I wonder how long that’s been in effect. I haven’t checked it in forever and then I remembered his silly threats about banning me and I wanted to see if he was actually ever going to get around to it. Pity. Now I’ll just have to check it from another IP so that I can see if he’s “boycotted” all Jehovah’s Witnesses. Psycho. Dude, if you have to make up a “banned” page with ALL those reasons on it, maybe you should rethink your strategy. Maybe people would actually WANT to help you if you weren’t so damn angry all the time. Just a thought. . . ::rolls eyes::

Anyhoo, that’s all the good news in my life for now. That, and I talked to Paul a little bit yesterday while he was waiting for Sarah to get home. I told him he should hurry up and marry her and he told me to tell my friend to “be normal”. ::sigh:: Men. . .

ACCESS DENIED

YOU ARE BANNED!

---

YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS PAGE BECAUSE YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO ENTER THIS SITE.

---

YOU HAVE VIOLATED COPYRIGHT LAWS

---

or

YOU HAVE HARASSED THE OWNERS OF THIS SITE

or

---

YOU HAVE CONTINUED WITH CHARACTER ASSASSINATION by spreading LIES!!

or

---

YOU HAVE BEEN SENDING NUMEROUS HATE EMAILS or THREATENING EMAILS!!

or

---

Someone used your computer that was banned.

---

SO

PLEASE MOVE ALONG AND HAVE A ROTTEN LIFE!!!!

ADMINISTRATOR FOR ANNETTEMARTINI.US

---

You've seen 'em on the web. Now watch me aimlessly fiddle with them at night while watching Star Trek and being bored.
Here is the first result. Base by some random person on the web. I drew all the clothes and changed the eye color though.

Here is one I only had to pick and choose clothes for. Still fun though. Me as a ravenclaw.

And here is me with red hair and a pink teddy bear. No idea.

I went to the vending machine before lunch and put in .60 cents and then punched "174" for a package of lifesaver peppomints. Two came out of the slot. Yippee. Freebies!

Side note - I'm over at Catholic Answers Forum trying to get some annulment info out of them. I'm trying to avoid their JW sub forum as all that goes on over there is JW bashing. They'll say otherwise, but you should see some of the snide remarks I was getting when I tried to stop the "JWs are crazy" posts. Egad. Another forum I'm pretty much done with.
As for the annulment bit, I've got one lady telling me that the year it takes to go through will be "good for you" and give me and John time to "really think" about what we're doing. Yea. . . Cuz the over a year of being together and going through complete hell to do so didn't give us nearly enough time. . .

.. . . . .lalalala FREE MINTS!!

Yea I know, I’m not even engaged yet. But I had my mom over on Sunday and we sat around and chatted about stuff. I told her how John and I want to take this winter to fix up the condo and then hopefully sell it come spring. She said Dad could help with putting new cabinet doors on and then maybe she could do some faux painting on them. She took a class in it a while back and she’s really good at it. It’s the art of making an ordinary piece of wood (or plastic or whatever) look like something else. She can make it look like marble, wood grain, etc. It’s really neat. So that would be totally free except for maybe buying some wood for Dad to make the doors of and paint for Mom to work with.

While we were sitting chatting we of course talked about me and John getting married. I said before she left I’d have to show her a wedding dress I found that I really liked. I forgot of course so after she left I emailed it to her and just said, “Oh, isn’t this pretty?” and stuff like that. I never expected to hear anything except, “yea, it is” from her. She emailed me back and said that it was a really simple pattern and she could make that no problem. . . . . . . . . WHAT? She made my first dress so I know she COULD make it but I didn’t think she’d want to or that she would volunteer. That is so awesome of her.

So I emailed her back and asked her wasn’t she going to be awfully busy since she just got a new job as art liaison to all of the public schools in her district? She said that actually it affords her more time than when she was teaching and that she’d have no problem making the dress for me. I am so excited! I know we don’t have a date or are engaged, but it can’t hurt to plan for stuff since John and I at least WANT to get married when we can afford it.

Here’s a picture of it. I’d also want to incorporate an idea of a dress I tried on a few months ago. It had removable sheer sleeves. They just snapped on underneath the straps. That way I could have the cool medieval look that John likes during the wedding and then take the sleeves off for the reception.

And slightly off topic – my mom brought me two stories she wrote. One is called “Freddy the Fish” and it’s a story my Gramps told her and her brother when they were little. My mom did water color illustrations for it and retold it as she remembered it. very cool. The second was about this silver cup she has that says, “Kay Doherty, frontier swimmer” on it that she and HER Gramps etched on themselves. It’s a really sweet story. I’m even in the end of it. I wish we could inherit their house in the country. But it wouldn’t be worth it for all we’d spend in gas to get to work. I love it out there by the lake. It’s so peaceful. I just feel so much more at ease out there than in the city. But there’s nothing that can be done about it really.

Our best bet is to fix up the condo and hopefully make some money off of it this spring. That free cabinets will definitely help.

::edit:: I almost forgot, after hearing about the dress as "a go" I got motivated and called John's church to see what I'd have to do for us to get married there. We obviously can't get married at a Kingdom Hall. . . Anyway, I talked to his priest (didn't tell him who I was marrying yet) and said I am a JW, my ex is a JW, and I'm marrying a Catholic and want to know what I have to do to get an annulment through the church. Fun right? I already got a divorce and now I have to get an annulment. Those silly Catholics. . . lol.

He said you can get one on three basis -
1. got married too young (yep, got that one)
2. were forced into it (nope)
and 3. one partner didn't want kids (yea, got that problem too. I mean, maybe he did eventually, but not by Catholic standards and that's all that matters.)

Only problem - it takes about a year to go through. Hmmm. . .
The good thing is John said he doesn't care if we can't get married there. He'd get married in his parents' backyard or something. So that's good because I don't know if I want to wait a whole other year for this to go through. That's one more year of being disfellowshipped. No thank you. I'll pass.

But we'll see what we can do to work with it.

We met up with Sarah and Sadie at the Spencer Fair last night. I'm not a big ride type person. I go on maybe two rides there every year. My favorite ride, the scrambler, was broken. :( So we walked around and took Sadie to see all the animals. John kept humming the "dueling banjos" song. I suppose he's not far off. The Spencer Fair is kind of like taking all the white trash in Western Mass and putting it all in one spot for the weekend. Makes it easier for the cops to keep an eye on all of them I suppose.

It's fun for us locals because the Fair has been going on for 117 years so we've been going all our lives. Sarah and I have gone since we were little. And then when you're old enough to go by yourself it's like the teenage thing to do. Anyway, the four of us had fun. Sarah and I went on a couple little kid rides with Sadie. I told Sarah people probably thought we were like her lesbian moms because John didn't go on the kid rides with us; it was just us and Sadie. lol. Whatever.

I had some really good potato pancakes from a Polish food booth there. It was yummy. I had to laugh though because when John came back from getting them for me he says, "You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"I was standing there while she cooked the food and the girl had a shirt on that said 'Poland'. I thought 'oh, that's cute. they make them were poland shirts while they work there'. Then she started talking to a friend who came up in Polish. Right in front of me!"

We both laughed because when I got into it with that person on the NEG board one of my points was that my Grandmother used to speak Polish but you would never have caught her speaking Polish rudely in front of people with my dad and his brother or something. I just found it so funny that the exact same situation happened while we were standing there. You gotta love it!

We ran into our friend John who is a Spencer cop. We had to track him down, ended up asking two other cops where he was. We did finally find him and talked Star Wars for a bit. That was cool, mixing our lives back up a bit.

Today my mom is coming over to see the baby birds. She was gonna bring Dad but he's not the animal type. Although when I first got Amelie he came over with my mom to see her and she fell asleep in his lap when she was a tiny kitten. It was so cute.

Now I'm sitting here typing away and watching TV (Real World. augh.) and then I'm going to psychotically clean in just a few minutes. Should be fun. Five bird cages, dishes, vacuuming and dusting. Woo hoo. My idea of a fun day. . . blah. On a good note, I did chat with Bob on email for a few minutes. That's nice, Jessie. Yea, I know.

And now I'll leave you with some adorable pictures of my flock.
Button, TK, and Peachy Keen (TK and Peachy Keen are the new breeding pair. Hopefully. I think TK likes Button more than he likes Peachy. And yes, TK's full name is "TK-421")
TK loves Han
Amelie sticking her tongue out (probably at all the birds)
John posing for me (Yes, he's part of "the flock" too.)
Three babies perching

While no convenient time for gift giving that I actually celebrate is coming up, here are some things I want. Even though no one who reads this would buy me something (except maybe Sarah or John) they're still fun things to check out. And they can all be found on my wishlist at ThinkGeek.

Side note - please spam subzero_nc2000@yahoo.com all you want. I doubt it's their real email addy, but they just IMed me saying they were DFd too and then went into how I was leading a double life. Yea. Right. I have my own ideas on who it (obviously) was but you might as well all annoy them a little bit if you have some free time. Feel free to add them to your yahoo lists and annoy away! Now. . .on to the wishlist!

Geek babydoll tee
The answer to life, the universe, and everything
Mine fell off my car. :(
And I do. :D
This kicks ass!
They serve no purpose and yet. . .I want them.
I'd like all of these - my life in tiny action figures
So true.
One can only hope.

That's all for now. Hope you find these as amusing as I do!

I only just saw this. They tagged me. Guess I'd better get to work since it was back in June. . .

Book Meme

1. Total Number of Books I've Owned – eep. No idea. I have three wal-mart book shelves that are full (I’m talking double and triple layered shelves) of books and I’ve had and do have more than that.

2. Last Book I Bought – The Dogs of Babel. What an extraordinary book. Some thought it was crap; I was not one of them.

3. Last Book I Read – Prodigal Summer. I’ve actually read it before but I re-read it for my “summer book”.

4. Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me – well, these are not necessarily “favorites” but they have struck a chord with me in some way.

The Time Traveler’s Wife. This is just a beautiful story. It is not science fiction, as many thought. It’s a love story, through and through. I cried so hard at the end of this book and I’m really hoping that they will do it justice if they make it into a movie. I think The Notebook was the best love story I’ve seen movie-wise in a long time. Put it this way – if this is made into a movie, it will easily rival it.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. If you haven’t read it, you simply must. Plus, if you are a worthy reader you can then learn the answers to life, the universe, and everything in three simply novels. “Ford, there’s an infinite number of monkeys out here who want to talk to us about a script for Hamlet they’ve worked out.”

The Heir to the Empire. Part one in a trilogy, this book took my breath away with its fascinating characters and intricate plots. Timothy Zahn is one of the best writers EVER. He reignited my love of Star Wars with his books.

Bookends. Jane Green does not write complicated novels. But she does write interesting ones. I love this book because it is a daydream of mine in written form. Following friendships that come and go. . .and then come again, and one girl’s dream to own a book shop – now that’s my kind of book.

Dragons of Summer Flame. Dragonlance book. John got me into these this year and they are. . .phenomenal. Well, the ones written by Margaret Weis are anyway. The others aren’t as impressive. Pick up Dragons of Spring Dawing (that’s the first one, right) and begin your journey with Tika, Goldmoon, Raistlin, Riverwind, Caramon, Tasslehoff (my favorite), Tanis, Laurana, and all the rest as they start out on a journey that begins with a crystal staff in the Inn of the Last Home. You won’t regret it, I promise.

5. Tag Five People and Have Them Do This on Their Blog -
John
Sarah
Chante
Michael
Diane

Figured I'd return the favor.

I have no idea who this guy is, but he linked to my post about that woman calling up and saying I knew her husband. It's under "table scraps" on the first page and "I'm not normally interested in reading blog posts. . ."

Kinda neat. I love having a site meter so that I can see what pages people are visiting my blog from. It really helps with people like Tony too. AND it's free! Anyway, go check out the site. It looks amusing if you're bored at work or something.

BANANA PHONE!






*disclaimer
not safe for work, requires volume, you will never stop hearing it!! mwuh hahaha.

Looks like everything is going to be taken care of. Good. I feel much better now.

On to more important things - I am avoiding most of the internet for a while. I don't need all the stress that comes with it. I do, however, love writing in my blog so I'm not avoiding that. But most forums and such. I'm so done with this religious forum I was on. Everyone loves to attack Jehovah's Witnesses so much. I'm about full up on that.

Oh, and one more thing about the internet and posting and all that - Sparkette (the pied's new mommy) ROCKS!

Tomorrow we're (hopefully) picking Sarah and Sadie up at six for the Fair. That should be fun. Sarah wants to show Sadie all the 4-h animals. :) In the morning I get to go to Feathers and do some bird shopping. I am PSYCHED about that. I love going to Feathers. I'm also taking Baxter (oldest blue baby) and TK for a wing trim. Possibly Peachy Keen as well since she hasn't had one since June. At the very least I can show off my new breeding pair to Laura.

Sunday Baxter is going home with his new mom. :( He's sooo pretty and sweet. I'm gonna miss him. But we still have Justarius. I caught the two of them perched on TOP of the cozy tent this morning when I uncovered the cage. The youngest baby was a couple perches below and the PARENTS were asleep in the nest box. Yep, time to take that sucker away. lol.

Um, yea. That's all I've got. It's Labor Day weekend so maybe they'll let us out early from work today and I can go home and play with the birdies. Yippee!

go here

Now pick YOUR favorite.

This guy is making it entirely too easy. What I really don't get about all this is that I never threatened him. I never even sent him a horribly offensive email. The only two emails I have ever exchanged with them (his wife) is on the first entry about this. Read and tell me if they're offensive or threatening. They are not. And yet, he feels justified to post here and threaten ME?

You have to check out the LJ link again. He has been posting left and right to me. I feel so bad for the person whose journal it is. They don't deserve to have to deal with this stuff. I don't either, but they are an innocent bystander. Hopefully they'll just delete all of it. He's just now resorted to telling me to go f myself. That'll really make your point clear. . .

Posted to a random person's LJ who was also harassed by this guy. I posted my story on there and he felt the need to threaten me further. Not cool. Also, he is lying (shocking, right?) when he says that he contacted me about sending any of my stuff to the watchtower society. Good luck with that anyway since I am allowed to have a blog if I want to. He says it's against my religion? Obviously his wife didn't fill him in on Witnesses nearly enough or he'd know better. This is so going to the police.

Subject: The Cruelty of Jehovah's Witnesses!!!!
In case all of you did not know Maraduh first of all
is a Jehovah's Witness. Now I do not have a problem
if she is an active Jehovah Witness but I do have a
problem when this crazy woman sends me numerous
threatening and harassing emails. That is the part
she forgot to tell you. That is the part she forgot
to tell all her bloggers. So when you hear one side
of a story of course you are going to believe the
crazy person first which is Maraduh. The only
comment I made to her was when she threatened my
wife and I thought she was a he, I told this nut
step into the ring with me and I will fix your
clock.

That was all what I said but of course if I had
known she was a woman she knows I would not of
written that but would rather of just called her a
bitch and tell her to go have a rotten life.

Maraduh as a Jehovah's Witness should know that she is not
supposed to have a blog because it is against her religion
and I did discover she is an active Jehovah's Witness. She
is also most certainly not suppose to talk about people the
way she is because it is against Jehovah's Witness Policy.
I did tell her that I will send her threatening emails to the
Watch Tower and Tract Bible Society in New York, their HeadQuarters.
I also told this nut that I will also take Legal Actions for
violation of copyright Laws which means that my site is 100%
copyrighted and she never had our permission to copy and paste
certain paragraphs from our site (I did not do this. He is lying. If you look through all my posts I have only pasted links to the letters I was sent by them. Nothing from their site. This is so clear cut, it's not even funny.) so she can get more traffic
to her stupid blog.

By her contacting the Police and I have printed the above copy
here I am therefore going to sue her for making a False Police
Report. (Oh, so my life WASN'T threatened?) Furthermore, after we blocked her from our emails she sent me more emails to another email address which is now
called stalking (no, that's what's being done TO me)
on the internet punishable by the minimum of
5 years in prison.

I monitor all blogs and I will file a Lawsuit against all the
bloggers who are doing character assassination and has violated
copyright laws. This does include sueing the blog owners
themselves for allowing crazy people on the internet who have
nothing else to do with their life except to be Internet Bullies (you try to bully people into giving you money. What does that make you?) !!!

I will be suing Maraduh (bring it on) and anyone else who does a character
assassination against myself or against my wife.

In America, you think that you have total freedom of speech but
guess what, I also have freedom to sue your damn asses and I do
not care if it takes me 10 years to fight every one of you. I
could even make this a class action lawsuit and line you all up
in courts and deal with all of you one by one in front of a Judge
and a Jury.

I would like to know which Police Officer you spoke to that said
my site was a scam because I will sue him and sue the Police
Department. (yea, that convinces me I should tell you. Like I'm gonna give you any hint as to where I live.)

So if you have proof that you contacted the Police Officer instead
of shooting off your big trap put his name, his badge number, the
Police Department he works at with his address and his phone number
and I will deal with him through the courts.

Furthermore, I am going to file a police report with the FBI for you
making a False Police Report. (once again, bring it on) You call yourself a Jehovah's Witness.
You are nothing but a devil in disguise. A two face lying bitch. (hmm. . .)

You never read anything on our site and nor have you ever read the
Evidence and Proof. So you are saying the Police Officer went to my
site saw the Evidence and the Letters from the White House and he said
it was a scam? Are you telling everybody that the cop looked at letters
from Congressmen and Senators and said it was a scam? (nope, didn't say that all actually. Try reading!)

Furthermore, are you saying that the Letters from Immigration and their
threatening responses are a scam?

Well, I guess you met your match. You are a very stupid woman and so is
the so called cop if that is what he told you.

I want to see a copy of your False Police Report. He has to give you a copy. Scan it in and show it to the whole world. What are you afraid of?

Furthermore, I, as a former Private Investigator (and officer in some army, and internet domain owner, and. . .what were your other jobs again?) will find out your False Police Report and I will sue you.

See you in court loser Jehovah's Witness, and I will make sure you are
disfellowshipped from the Kingdom Hall and the other Jehovah's Witnesses. (and yet more threats. You are making this too easy.)


Tony

No, seriously. That’s my work right now. We just had a meeting yesterday with our group and two people are nit picking at one another. Always great to see in the work environment. Honestly, the silly politics and gossiping that goes on here is insane. So then yesterday I noticed during the meeting when I took my sweater off (it was hot in there) my tattoo showed because I had a short sleeve shirt on. Two of the other girls laughed at that exact moment and said something to one another. Coincidence I guess. At least I had the guts to ask today. Had this been. . .Tuesday I would not have had the motivation to bother with it. But after yesterday and today dealing with BS on message boards (and not just the NEG board) and having to talk to cops about people threatening me I am not in the mood to just let things slide.

She said it was a coincidence and seemed really confused. That’s fine. I didn’t feel stupid for asking though. One of the girls was John’s ex whom I mentioned before just started working here. So I figure if there’s anything going on I’m going to nip it in the bud right now because I do not need further BS to complicate my life right now. glad it’s all taken care of.

Now off to finish up some real work and then talk to Dawn.

http://www.okcupid.com/politics

You are a
Social Conservative
(31% permissive)


and an...
Economic Liberal
(25% permissive)


You are best described as a:

Totalitarian

You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness. loc

Higher permissiveness, on either axis, indicates a "live and let live" philosophy. Of course, we're almost conditioned in America, "Land of the Free", to think positively of such a philosophy. But practically speaking, permissiviness (or its opposite, regulation) can create any number of outcomes:

For example, on the economic axis, a highly permissive system, like the American system of the early 1900s, might mean things like low taxes and increased scientific innovation. It might also result, as it did back then, in unrestricted child labor and millions of poor people with black lung.

At the other end of the economic spectrum, a highly regulated system might conserve the environment, establish national health care, and eliminate poverty. But as we've learned from the Soviet system, extreme regulation can also lead to stagnation, sameness, and unhappiness.

Last 10 laws suggested by Takers:

"I would dictate that...affirmative action would go away. You don't get into college just because you're black. The state police officer protecting you didn't score 30 points less than somebody and only get the job because she's a woman or a minority. . ."
—JI from New England

"I would dictate that...for every new law passed, two old laws be removed from the books."
—MRM from Acton, Maine

"I would dictate that stupid people shouldn't be allowed to raise children."
—ARH from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Hello everyone and welcome to another entry of “people won’t stop their bitching long enough to listen so I’m just going to write about it in my blog”.

I really got into it on the NEG board yesterday. We were talking about the policy of “speak English or leave”, which I personally think should be a real policy. Speaking other languages is fine, but to live here and work here you must know how to speak English as well. I hate going to a store or a restaurant and trying to tell the clerk what you need and they don’t understand a word you’re saying. If I went to a foreign country I would not expect everyone to cater to me and speak English. I would learn their language. We also got into affirmative action (which I am also against) among other things. Even as a woman, I don’t think it’s right that a female who is less qualified than a male should get a job as a state police officer simply because of her sex. Also, if anyone ever started up the “white kids’ college fund” they would be a “racist” so fast it’s not even funny.

So basically everyone was saying exactly what I was saying except for one person. They took it upon themselves to show their friends all the posts of the day. Now, that forum is a political debate forum. If you can’t take debate, get the hell out! I was heated too but you don’t see me printing out posts and running around to random people to show them how idiotic people are.

I got PMs from this person telling me to “just drop it”. Um, excuse me? No. we’re all discussing things. I’m not going to drop anything. yet no one else got a PM. And you know why? Probably because A. I am the other girl on the thread and they thought they could bully me into backing down and 2. I made the “terrible mistake” of quoting this person directly so now they can make it look like I was going after them personally. ACTUALLY they were the only one on the thread defending the ludicrous position that it’s okay to get a free ride here and never learn an ounce of English. People are so frustrating. AND they actually bothered to call other garrison members. I would NEVER bother someone at their home about something so trivial!

And then people I thought I could count on are saying I should apologize and all this. So you know what? Screw it. I don’t need the aggravation. I told John last night that I don’t even want to troop anymore. The whole point of it was to have fun with Star Wars and that I felt like I belonged to a big extended family. If I don’t feel that way anymore then all the fun is gone. I’ll go to the events I’ve committed myself to and then I’m done.

You know, I’m sick of putting all this time and effort into friendships and I get nothing in return. So many of my friends have been like that. I would always call them and check up on them and try to get together and no one cared. They couldn’t have cared less. I put all this wasted time and effort into opening up to people and it’s pointless because you just get walked on anyway.

If this happened to anyone else on the forum I would totally be on their side. Right or wrong, they are my friends and I would defend them against someone making accusations against them. if you can’t handle it, get the heck out of the thread!!! So I’ve found I can’t handle the inner workings that go on behind everyone’s back so I’ll just leave. Sound good? Sure does to me.

John jumped on and defended me which was really great. But then it just ends with the original person saying that maybe we should "all watch how we say things". Um, no. It's a debate. I'm damn well going to debate. People like that piss me off. They can't take someone making a good point so they call the racist card and then cry to everyone about it. I just hate that people move on from things so quickly because no one has the guts to stand up and take a side. I'm not going to compromise what I believe is right simply to placate someone with a temper. I don't care how long they've been in the group or what inner politics are going on or what have you.

I’m so sick of the politics and bullshit that go on. I’m done.