Jade's Babblings

Saturday was a busy day. I picked Kirsty up at her house at about 9:45 a.m. We drove out to Feathers because I had to get that food for Gunther. $36 for one bag of food!! Ergh. I bought a couple snacks that I know they all like and I also needed a perch for Button's cage and a foraging wheel for Gunther. It came to $90. That hurt since I only had $110 more on me for the entire day of errands.

As always, I had a blast at Feathers. I asked the owner, Eric, if Kirsty and I could play with one of the two baby lovebirds they had in the bird room. He said, "You don't have to ask. You can play with both birds. Just go back there and take them out." I love that I've been going there so long that they just don't care anymore. So Kirsty and I went back there and I took the two babies out. They were so sweet. They're from the same woman who raised Button. She devotes her whole life to them so they come out being just the sweetest little things. One was a beautiful pied that I wanted to take home so badly.

We left there and went over to Chrisanne's all the way out in Auburn. Kirsty got to try on the bridesmaid dress (which she really seemed to like, whew) and I ordered my veil. It was the first veil I had tried on with a dress simliar to the one I bought. I had fallen in love with it but it was too expensive. My mom offered to pay for it though since it complimented the dress so well. It's all sparkly on the edges. I just love it. I can't wait until it comes in.

Then it was over to Soup to Nuts at the Sturbridge Millyard. We drove past Dawn and Craig's office and I missed them. I love going to that restaurant. The food is just so totally yummy. I wish I lived closer to it. It's an hour drive out there.

We went to Petsmart to get lovie food and then we hit AC Moore to try and figure out what the heck we're going to do for wedding centerpieces. She came back to our house after and hung out with me and John and the birds for a while. Then we drove her home and John got a tour of her condo to which he said the he'd trade with her. Meaning she'd come live with me and the pets and he'd have the quiet one all to himself. I don't think so buddy. ;) So Kirsty and I had a blast. And we got soooo much done!

Saturday night was bad. It was my first day taking a full pill of Paxil and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I woke up at midnight feeling wicked nauseous. When I looked at anything with light in it, like the clocks or the little light beside the bed, I saw trails. I held my hand up in front of my face and saw that making trails too. Ugh, it was awful. I tried to read some Calvin and Hobbes until about 12:30 then I gave up and stayed on the couch until five a.m. watching Scream2 and such things. I went to bed until 8:30 and then got up and got ready for the meeting.

Yep, I'm back. And I didn't even let a night of bad drug reactions stop me. :) I was glad I didn't miss it. The talk was very good - how to serve God - and the speaker was funny. He used to be Catholic and he had all these great experiences. The watchtower was nice too. I couldn't follow along since I'm behind on my magazines. The brother who handles the literature counter came up to me during the closing song and said he had some magazines for me. Nice of him since he hadn't seen me in four months. But he went up during the song and got them for me so that I wouldn't have to stick around. I was dreading having to do that. I should just put a big red "D" on my chest...

So the meeting was good and then I came home from that and read Star Wars for like two hours. I got some new books from Sarah so I started in on that series. Yay, new Star Wars books! :)

I took Gunther out for like three hours with me. Tonks was out for a bit too. She's a biter. Pixel tried taking some bread away from Gunther and he jumped on her head cuz he was ticked. It was so funny, but I had to grab him before she freaked out.

Last night was better. No bad reactions. I guess my body is getting used to the drug. Good stuff. I just want to finally feel it working in a good way.

No working out tonight. Kirsty's brother is coming for a visit. But Wednesday I will. And tomorrow night is the long meeting. Or is it book study? Shoot, I'll have to go check.

Last night after work I drove home in my new car (!!) and as I was coming up our walkway to our condo John called my cell to tell me his parents were a couple exits away and wanted to take us to Cracker Barrell for dinner. I thought that sounded like fun even though I was on-call and knew I'd worry about the phone the whole time.

But CB is only a couple exits away so I agreed to go. I had about ten minutes to get out of my work clothes and at least set up my computer so it would be ready for me to work on when I got home. I ran around like a mad woman and managed to do that. Then, as if on cue, my on-call phone rings. I panicked of course. It turned out to be a fairly easy one, though and I did that within a couple minutes. I ran into the bathroom to brush my teeth and as I was doing that, my regular cell phone rang.

I picked it up and said hello and the man on the other side asked for Jessie. I said "speaking" and he said, "Hi, this is so-and-so" and to my silence added, "from the kingdom hall".

It was one of the Elders from my new hall calling to check up on me since I missed so much time due to surgery. Granted, I had sent them a letter saying why I had been gone for a couple months and such. But hey, Elders are busy, and even if he called after a reminder, he still called. We talked for a couple minutes and I firmly resolved to trek out to the Kingdom Hall on Sunday morning and then it was time to run downstairs to meet John's parents for dinner. We had a lovely time and I was high off of my phone call for the rest of the night.

Two stressed out birds plucking their feathers + special food for them + special toys to put their food in to distract them from plucking = unhappy and penniless owners.

We brought Tonks into the house and Gunther has lost it. The bird is crazy. He plucked his entire left leg and up to his chest. Jealous little boy. Tonks is nervous from her move so she plucked feathers out of her chest.... Stop the ride please, I'd like to get off.

Tomorrow I'm going to Feathers with Kirsty and we're going to get Harrison's and a foraging wheel. I just want my Gunther to be okay. :(

Good news - Kirsty is going to watch Amelie for us when we go to Florida. And maybe the lovebirds too. That way we'd only have to board Tonks and Gunther. And that way I wouldn't have to worry about them dying in a fire while we're gone. (Since Pixel is going to John's parents' house.)

More good news - the family taking away my creamino... I mean, giving a home to our two lovebird babies, is really great. They came over to visit last weekend. Ray and Jean. They have two daughters who are 7 and 5. Nice kids. They were really interested in Gunther and they loved Pixel too. Our house is like a zoo and most days I really love it. I'm glad that the two babies have found a good home. They're going home on the 10th. I shall miss them....... But I won't miss the screaming.

You are...Rogue/Marie D'Canto
The life-sucking Southern Belle


Which X2 Mutant are you?
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I thought I would share a partial list of some things our birds do (we have a quaker parakeet, mustache parakeet, and four lovebirds). I got these off another site and there were a ton of them, but I just took the ones that apply to mine. Some of these make me laugh out loud thinking of them. Now read these and picture yourself at our zoo of a house.

· Even if it is fun, it's not nice to whistle for the dog and laugh at him when he comes (repeatedly).

· Humans who wear glasses need them. I will not insist on attempting to remove every pair I see.

· I shall cease doing my loudest scream in my humans ear right after I have snuggled up on her neck making kissing sounds and whispering I love you's into her ear. I also will not laugh my evilest laugh when she winces in pain and sits there with a dazed look on her face until she can hear again. (My Quaker Parrot's favorite way to push my buttons.)

· I should not hide quietly behind a stereo speaker when everyone is calling my name and looking for me. That is wicked.

· I will be consistent in my behavior. I will not step up one time and bite the next -- at least without SOME visible cue as to what I have planned. (But it sure is funny to keep her wondering!)

· I will not bob my head and laugh when misfortune befalls my humans and they trip or drop things, nor will I fly over and circle above their heads and shriek wildly to add to the melee.

· I will not climb in my human's hair when I have to go back in my cage.

· I will not climb on top of my cage whenever the opportunity arises and dare my human to get me down.

· I will not drop my treats through the mesh in the cage bottom and then beg for another one (20 times in a row!)

· I will not give my human kisses one second and next second give her the beak of death.

· I will not hang myself in my play ring to horrify unsuspecting guests then laugh and get out of the ring myself when they run over to help.

· I will not ignore my new expensive play toys.

· I will not indicate that I am finished with my snack by flinging my dish as far as possible.

· I will not interrupt the humans when they are imitating nature by making my female human's noises, which cause's them to laugh and get out of the mood. (this is why NEVER any birds in the bedroom rule applies)

· I will not land on people's shoulders unexpectedly and scare the !$#!& out of them. (that one’s for you, Kirsty)

· I will not play King Kong by hanging on the side of the budgies' cage. I am a macaw, not a gorilla. (okay, in my situation it’s quaker and lovebirds, but still)

· I will not put my head down to be scratched then whirl around and bite.

· I will not tell the nice policeman to "BITE ME" when my human is stopped for speeding. (Fortunately he had a sense of humour!) [mine’s never done this, but god that’s great]

· I will not want to go to sleep at 1:30 in the morning and wake up at 5:00 in the morning

· I will not fly like I'm fully flighted just after a wing clip.

· I will not add perforations to the cover of every paperback book I meet. My humans don't want to tear the covers off.

· I will not get mad at the cats for being "free" and then go into my humans' bedroom to chew her brand new cat lamp screaming "Bad Kitty" the whole time. (this one’s just funny)

· I will not make my human look stupid when she tells her friends I can talk.

· I will not yank earrings off people's ears.

· The R2D2 figure belongs on top of my human's computer monitor. (so true!)

· I will not deliberately egg on the guinea pigs in a competitive shrieking match. (our quaker parakeet does this with the dog and the lovebirds. He also imitates the lovebirds’ call)

· I will not freak out, drop to the bottom of my cage and scream every time someone walks by with a foreign object such as a trashcan or grocery sack.

· I will not scream as soon as the sun comes up on my human's day off.

· I will not scream at precisely eight PM every night for the human to turn the lights off.

· It is not my job to yell "Bad cat, get down!" whenever my feline brother jumps on the TV. (Gunther just yells “get down” at the dog)

· Screaming for no reason is annoying .

· I may be just a lovebird, but I will remember that I am not big enough to land on the cat and then preen his hair and bite him. The cat knows he is not allowed to touch me and therefore sulks after the experience because he can not eat me.

· I will remember the cat's tail is not a chew toy. (my African grey that Ray kept, once got a good hold of our cat’s tail. Yipes!)

I bought a Hyundai Santa Fe back in 'o4 and even though I loved the thing, it was just starting to fall apart. Parts for it are over the top expensive and it does horribly on gas even though it's a pretty small SUV.

John and I were thinking maybe I should get a Toyota Corolla. We'd heard they never die and that they're awesome on gas mileage. I wasn't crazy about it because it seems like everyone has a corolla. So I started looking at other Toyota's that would be reliable and in our price range. I found the Matrix, which is actually built on a corolla frame, but looks sportier.

We went to Ira Toyota on Sunday with John's parents for back up. We'd gone to Ira a few months back and they were really difficult to deal with so we figured we needed the extra help. This time we got the new guy (he'd only been there 2 days) so that was great. He was nicer than the other person had been and we ended up getting a reasonably good deal on my 2005 Matrix. It's more than I wanted to pay a month, but Valerie said that's actually a really good payment.

I LOVE this car!! The only thing that sucks is how low to the ground I am. If I could be up high in a pick up truck everyday I would be. But that's not very practical. Oh, and the '06 model that I test drove had a moonroof and mine doesn't, but we would have had to pay an extra $2000 so that wasn't very practical.

We drove to my parents' house yesterday and hung out with my mom and had a lovely time (my dad even stopped by on lunch to say hi and see the new car) and everyone was checking out my car on the mass pike. So cool. It's this really cool metallic blue color and I just love it.

I didn't name my Santa Fe, but the Matrix just might be cool enough to deserve a name. ;)
[r.i.p. sante fe.... :( ]


oh, and the sante fe had all my 501st stickers on it. I couldn't get them off. :(

It's Sunday at about 10:30 and I'm waiting for the family who's going to take my lovebirds home to show up. They aren't taking them home today, just visiting.

I thought I'd write about my weekend, for lack of any better inspiration. I should start with Friday, but yesterday was such a chaotic day that I'm saving the mostly goodness of Friday to end with.

Yesterday I woke up at about nine and chatted with John a bit before he left for work. Then I got up and showered to get ready to go out to Feathers to get one of the birds a wing trim. My parents had said they might stop by on their way home from Cambridge in the afternoon. My mom is taking a masters class there on Tuesday and she didn't want to get lost so Dad did a test run with her.

I had to towel our mustache parakeet just to get her into the carrier. She wasn't pleased. So I got there and I guess they have decided to just have cages by order only. They were selling off their remaining stock for 35% off. Well, "Cappy" came in a pretty small cage so I figured we'd get her a bigger one and then put Button and Justarius (lovebirds) into her old cage, which will be huge to them. Feathers didn't have much of a selection left. I was disappointed because there was only one cage that would fit Cappy and it was $499. But the girl who works there, who is always very kind to me and helpful, said to wait until we add it up with the 35% off and such. So I figured it couldn't hurt and I got a few perches for the cage and went up to the register. Want to know what it came to? $216. Yea, way more than 35% off. I love going to that store. I guess it pays to be a customer for over three years.

I'm getting a new car today, but for now I have a Hyundai Santa Fe, which is a nice little SUV. So the owner gets the cage and follows me out to my car. We then spend the next 15 minutes trying to get my jammed hatch open to get the cage in. We were unsuccessful. I told him to hold onto it for me and I drove all the way back to exit 18 (Feathers is off exit 24A and then another 15 minutes down route 20) to get John's truck from his work. So we switched cars and then I drove all the way back to Feathers.

At least his hatch opened and I finally got to drive home. I had to unload the cage by myself. It was heavy and awkward, but I managed to get it upstairs. Then I took Tonks (formerly known as Cappy) out of her carrier. She flew away at first, but then stepped up from the floor. The problem was even though I was excited she was finally on my hand (we've had her since Thursday and she has yet to sit with one of us calmly) I knew I had to assemble some parts of her cage. So I tried to get her onto a perch - not happening. The only place she would sit was on my hand or on my shoulder. Tonks sat on my hand for most of the stuff, but then I had to screw some perches into her cage and I needed both hands so I put her on my shoulder. BIG mistake. She BIT the back of my neck, HARD. So I had to use my jean jacket to get her off of me. LOL. Then she stepped up on my hand and I managed to get her in her cage.

Gunther wasn't pleased at first and lo and behold, when I looked at him closely I saw he had plucked his entire left leg!! I dont' know when he did it because we hadn't taken him out for two days, but I don't know why he did it either. He never saw Tonks until a day ago because she was in our bedroom.... I'm worried about him and now I have to take them both to the vet for well-bird check ups. The money never ends...

My mom called shortly after this and said she and Dad were way too tired after all the driving. I was really disappointed by this for some reason. I think I just had one of those "I wanna see my parents" days. They live an hour away, after all.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning. The kitchen, the bathroom, putting Tonks' old cage in the shower and scrubbing it down, carpet cleaning, etc. I was exhausted by the time John got home around 7. I took my first pill at about 6 too so I was freaking about that. John and I sat down and had some soup and watched part of JAWS together. He went to bed around 9 and I stayed up till 10:30 but just didn't have the motivation for the extra half hour until the movie ended so I gave up and went to bed too.

Friday was much better. Work sucked because I had people coming over to my desk all day even though they're not supposed to - they're supposed to send an email. By five o'clock I was SO ready to go. I got home and had to get ready to go out again cuz we were going over a friend's house for dinner and he lives about an hour away. (Why does everyone live so far away? Paul and Sarah are about 40 minutes, my parents are an hour, a couple other friends are an hour.....No wonder we never see people. Everyone needs to move closer to us.) It took me like a half hour to get ready. I couldn't find anything comfy to wear. So then we were a little late on our way out there. John hates to be late. :)

We finally got there and sat down to have some pizza. We were going to watch a movie, but John has to be up so early for work usually that he's in bed by nine whether he has to get up or not. We left at about 10:15 so I was actually pretty proud of him. That's late for him. I had a good time Friday night. It was nice to get out of the house and actually go somewhere. And we hadn't seen Bob (from the 501st) in a while. I think the biggest part of the night was exchanging demonic stories we'd all heard at one time or another. That's always a great way to get me to want to go to bed at night. I'm so easily scared. I've got some horrible ones myself, though, thanks to Ray. I try to forget about them, but ::shudder:: The haunted cabin is one of my favorites. ::sigh::

All in all, it was a good night. I'd like to have people come out here sometime too. Maybe have a small get together of people. That might be fun.

It's 10:53 and they're not here yet.... I hope they get here soon. The woman who adopted one of my birds was late to every appointment I made with her and then I ended up having to rescue the bird back from her because she was trying to sell it to the highest bidder. I'm not saying there's necessarily a correlation, but it still makes me wonder about people who don't show up on time to things that involve something as serious as adopting an animal. They're not late yet. I should get going.

Car shopping today! Wish me luck. I want a Toyota Matrix and I HATE car dealerships. They're so sleazy.

Paxil. 10mgs once daily.

I have finally given in and joined the ranks of the medicated. After struggling with panic attacks and depression for the past 18 years and trying everything available (herbal remedies, balancing, therapy, calming techniques) I have decided it's time to take that next step.

Let the healing begin. . .

Brian wrote a post that made me think. I work at a rather large worldwide company. In that company my job is to generate and distribute software license keys to those who are entitled to them. This means checking sales orders, knowing what the person needs, and finding the right combination of key for them. It is a complicated job, I am not ashamed to admit. The kicker is there are three of us on the global licensing team. Do you know why "global" is in there? That's right. Because it's.....global. So - 3 people + thousands of customers + being underpaid and overworked = stressful job.

Here are some things to think about next time you call tech support, customer support, or any kind of call center.

1. I do not want to keep things from you. I am not sitting at my computer thinking "How can I ruin this person's day?" If I could give you your license key, I would. Trust me. You getting your key means you will LEAVE ME ALONE.

2. Don't lie to me. When you call up and say, "My call back time was two hours and no one's called me." AND you are dumb enough to give me your case number, don't think that I'm not staring right at it knowing that you only opened your case a half hour ago. Lying will only anger us and make us put you on hold for ten minutes.

3. When you email us and get an automatic bounceback message that says we work from 8 to 5 EST and you can call after hours with EMERGENCIES, what does that mean to you?? Does it mean that I am sitting at my desk at work just waiting for an emergency to come through? Um, no. Emergencies mean that there is an on-call person who is at home sleeping. Do not wake me up to "just run this by" me. I value my sleep.

4. Being sarcastic will get you no where.

5. We also do not appreciate comments such as "This has been as helpful as poking sharp sticks in my eyes."

6. If you knew for two weeks that you would need a key from us and you didn't email us until today, why is that our fault? That bounceback message (see #3) states our response time is 24 hours. 24 hours....24 hours....Mull that over for a bit. Does 24 hours equal 20 minutes in your demented little world? Well, it doesn't in mine so plan ahead!

7. Sales orders = revenue. When you are a customer I can grant you some leeway with not wanting to fuss over sales orders. When you are a fellow employee who "just needs to get this done for the customer" and you are telling me to "skip the paperwork" that makes me want to track down your manager and tell them how eager you are for the company to lose money. Sales orders are not "just paperwork". They are what our salaries come from.

8. If you must wake me up with an emergency call, be pleasant. It will go such a long way.

9. Don't yell at me when I tell you something isn't physically possible. While I'm very sorry that you purchased the wrong licenses, that does not mean I can physically beat those codes into your hardware to make the key work. Ever heard the expression "square peg, round hole"? That is what you are trying to make me do.

10. Last but not least; what does "email ONLY group" mean to you?? Apparently it means that you call us ten times a day and use the on call number to bug us at 3 a.m. for a question about nothing. Apparently that means that when I ask you to email me your info (keep in mind, so that YOU can get your key FASTER) you feel you have the right to yell at me about it.

Be kind to your customer service/tech people. They're holding on to one small part of your lives and we can really make it go either way.

This isn't really negative. My mom emailed me the entire eulogy my Aunt Mary wrote. Here it is for your reading pleasure (And keep in mind when she said that Father asked her to write everything down, afraid she would go over, she did in fact hold up a thick notebook and said "So I did" which everyone laughed at. You have to read it with a bit of humor):

(Italics are mine)

Robert V.E.
May 7, 1946
February 4, 2006

Susie asked me to say a few words on behalf of the family.

At the calling hours Father warned me to write my thoughts out. So I did and brought this thick notebook. I think Father was afraid I would go on too long. But not to worry. We are the family who invented the twenty minute Christmas dinner (Gramps always had us on a tight schedule for meals.).

Bob came into our lives when he began dating our sister Susie. I can still see him in his plaid jacket, and his chino pants, and his saddle shoes---shoes he continued to wear long after they had disappeared from fashion. Bob was eighteen; Susie sixteen; and our youngest brother, Steve, was five or six, about the age of Bob's granddaughter Maddy (Bob and Sue's first grandchild).

We have known him for a long time. And when we were young Bob was always there. He just sort of merged into the family. And finally he became the other brother we hadn't even known we needed. I don't know what we would have done if Susie hadn't married him.

Bob was a kind and gentle man who never missed a good time. And you just had to love the guy…..
*even if he did mangle the punch line of every joke;
*even if he fumbled the Jumble
*even if he turned into the Mad Caller, with phone cards holding hundreds and thousands of minutes he used to call his daughters, at opportune and inopportune times.
*even if, as the Host with the Most at Moody Beach, he took it upon himself to teach life's little lessons:
Bare-chested Bacon frying;
Lightning-like hammering, never striking in the same place twice;
The Son-in-Law Finishing School lessons in playing craps;
And the long philosophical discussions with my father about how to insulate a cottage by trapping dead air.

Not a lot mattered to Bob, but what did matter, mattered a great deal.
And that was living his life and loving his family. Constantly his doctors wondered how someone with a heart so injured could continue to live. We know how. Bob loved his life. And Susie took care to see that he could live it.

As one of his doctors said, "Do you know why he is still alive? Two words. Susie Elwood."

No matter what his challenges, Bob was having a good time. And his positive attitude was infectious. If I had a penny for every person at the calling hours who said they were cheered or amazed or inspired by Bob's attitude, his smile, his laugh, I would be a rich woman.

Family also mattered to Bob. Many of you remember his pleasure in those Friday nights when he and Susie would finally get to the beach and bring out the steamers and the lobsters.

And his daughters. Erin, I don't think Bob ever got over the fact that God had given him a daughter who shared his sense of humor. And Meg and Shan. Your father backed your lives so. He wanted you to be everything you could be. He wanted all his daughters to be in a league of their own.

Bob loved his grandchildren so much. He had a morning ritual. Every day he used a special cup that had a picture of Erin's children on it. He called this "Having breakfast with my grandchildren."

And at Christmas, when he told me about Shannon's new baby, Sean, his grin was so wide it was hard for his face to hold it in.

Now Bob was not perfect and it is probably true that he had heaven confused with Moody Beach (where the whole family went every summer).

Many of you remember him being wheeled down to the beach with his crossword tucked in by his side. And staying there all day with the family spread out around him.
And no matter what the challenges to his health, every so often he would look around at the waves and the sand and the sun and the family around him and say-
"This is the life. This is the life!"

And that is a lesson that Bob leaves us. No matter what our sorrow. No matter what our challenges. Look at the love in this room. Look at the family gathered here. And say, "This is the life!"

And so Bob,

May the road rise with you;
May the wind be always at your back;
May the sun shine warm on your face
and the rains fall soft on your fields;
May God keep you in the hollow of His hand
until we meet again.

-MCS

Or because it's beautiful.

John and I got to the church (our lady of the rosary in worcester) at 9:36. There were three other cars in the parking lot so we waited. Soon enough my Aunt Yvette and her daughter Susan arrived. I hadn't been able to catch them at the calling hours so John and I got out of our car and walked up to the church with them.

Ah, the awkward moment of "where do we sit?" We're family after all so we ended up going up about nine rows from the front. Yvette and Susan sat with us. I was glad we could keep them company. My Aunt Yvette is a quiet lady who never assumes she is invited anywhere or even assumes she is officially part of the family. Even though she is.

10:01. The music starts and the casket comes down followed by the rest of my family who had met at the funeral home. I am now kicking myself for not meeting them there because John, me, Yvette and Susan are now three rows back from everyone else. And now the people who aren't family and who sat in the back section are staring at us wondering how we could have been so rude to sit so close to the family when we obviously aren't family...

The priest does his opening spiel. John said he reminded him of the "lost another one to ditech" guy. I believe since none of us stood up at the proper time the priest probably felt that he should fit in every major Catholic teaching into his funeral talk. And he did. He even told us all when to stand up, sit down, and kneel. We were apparently that bad at being Catholic. ;)

Mom and Aunt Mary (not the aunt whose husband died. that's Aunt Sue) got up to do the eulogy. My mom read a scripture (from The New World Translation) about how a body may be withered on the outside, but the man inside is still looking forward to the future. Aunt Mary got up to do her part and said, "Father asked me to write down what I was going to say. I think he was worried I might run overtime. So I wrote it all down." ::holds up a rather large notebook as everyone but the priest laughs:: She said a lot of beautiful things and of course there were some sad parts too. "Bob's been a part of this family for 42 years now, and he's always just....been there. He just kind of hung around, happy to be around his family."

My Uncle had to have both his legs amputated within the last couple years sadly. Heart and circulation problems. My Aunt Mary also said that whenever anyone marveled at the fact that Bob was still alive they always said they could sum up the reason he was in two words - Susan Elwood. Cue the crying throughout the entire audience of people.

Then she recited an Irish blessing (at which point even she started to catch her voice), they played Amazing Grace, and we left. They also played "let there be peace on earth" which got to John because his favorite priest used to make everyone sing it at church when he was little.

The cemetery service was quick. It was windy and frigid out. The priest said a few words and then we all started to drift off to our cars. My Aunt Sue asked if John and I would be going back to Uncle Bill and Aunt Chris' house for lunch. John drove me over there but only stayed a minute. We all had lunch and sat around and chatted. My parents drove me home after because John had to be back to work. It was an interesting and sad day all around.

Aunt Sue made me take food home because she said Bill and Chris would just throw it out. :) And I got to hear some great childhood stories from them all. Not to forget too that all my aunts have now insisted that they are going to my wedding and will even pay for their meals. (which of course I'm not going to allow. The paying, not the attending.) It's nice to know that your family cares that much about you and it's always sad to see them at a funeral but always nice to get together and spend some time listening to one another's lives.

My uncle passed away Saturday morning. He was only 60, had been sick for a while. He's my mom's sister's husband. My favorite aunt. They're all my favorites, but she's my favorite you know?

John took me to the calling hours tonight. I said hi to my aunt and my cousins (he had three daughters) and my parents were there. Dad and I chatted football for the first time in my life (I actually watched and enjoyed the superbowl last night) and my mom told John if he could get me do that he must be amazing. My Aunt Mary was here; we don't see her often. My Aunt Yvette, my Gramps' girlfriend of 25 years (!!!), showed up towards the end and I couldn't talk to her before she got into the line so I'll catch her tomorrow I hope. My Mom's favorite uncle - uncle Bill - showed up. 84 (or so) and still swimming every day with the 16 year old life guards down at the Jewish community center. My family rocks.

The funeral is tomorrow. I don't do well at funerals. Calling hours are one thing. Yes, it's sad (and disturbing) to see the body out and all that. But the funeral is when they invoke all the Catholic mumbo jumbo and the memories of the deceased and the combination makes me cry every time.

They had the wake tonight at the same funeral home my Gramps' was held at. Surreal.

The obituary was one of the best I've read. It was really nice of them to say that he was close to us (his nieces and nephews) and to mention us in it. Not by name, but there's a lot of us and let's face it; they didn't have to mention us at all.

I also thought it was great that they listed Worcester, MA and Moody Beach, ME as his residence. The whole family has spent summers in Wells, ME since before I was born. My Gramps and Grandma built two cottages up there side by side and then my aunt and uncle also bought a house down the street. It's my safe place, Maine.

(I've left out the important stuff just cuz anyone who needs to know all of it would by now anyway.)

Bye Uncle Bob. I really need to not watch depressing movies like "My Girl" right now. Time to turn off the TV and go to bed...

I have to have the machine on for one more week. I told my boss and she seemed okay with it. I have to drop off a doctor's note at some point. This thing is horrid.

My mom called this morning to say my Uncle Bob passed away at home today. His wife is my Aunt Sue, my mom's slightly older sister. I had just sent him a get well card too. We're waiting to find out when the calling hours and funeral will be. Most likely Monday and Tuesday. John said he has Monday off so I said that was great that he could at least go to the wake with me. He shocked me by saying he was going to tell his boss that he needed Tuesday off as well for the funeral because "it's family". Nice.

I can't do anything until this stupid machine is off. I'll probably have to check with the nurse to see if I can take part of it off for the wake and funeral. I dont' think it will go with my black dress. Grrr.

We're waiting to make our next tattoo appointment until I'm all healed up. Our artist, Al, gets back from Florida on Wednesday. But we can't go see him this coming weekend because I might not have the machine off.

Wednesday is also my last ever therapy session. I think the only other time I'll ever have to go again is maybe if John and I do some standard pre marriage counseling or something. That might be nice. Wedding planning gets so stressful that so many couples end up upset with each other on their own wedding day! I can't imagine. :)
I think I've pretty much graduated from therapy. I haven't had a full blown panic attack in the last six months. They used to be every week. Some people in my family are still leaning towards me being bi polar but I just don't know. And until I see definite signs I'm not going to bother myself with spending money on specialists to figure out if I have something or not. Stress free from here on out.

I can't wait for nine months to go by so that our wedding day will be here. Though it'd be nice if we could have longer than that to pay for it all. But we're doing everything as reasonably as possible. We kind of splurged on the reception site, but at least it's a nice place where everyone will be comfortable.

I'm waiting for John to get home so that we can figure out what our schedule is looking like for today. Sarah is supposed to call me to let me know if she and Sadie are going to be here for 3:30 or not...... there she is. hold please.
Well, she's not going to be able to make it for 3:30 so John and I are going to head to Feathers (wing trims for the birds and a new toy for one, Gunther) and then be back here to hang out with Sarah. Yay! :)

Time to go get ready to go out. I never get out except to go to the hospital so this little outting is quite welcome.