ROTS Review - it's not all puppy dogs and ice cream

Well, Revenge of the Sith opened last night. I’m told it made 16.5 million with just its midnight show. I’m not surprised. This was the long-anticipated end to a huge saga. And I have to say that after having last night and some of today to reflect on it, I was a bit disappointed. The die-hard fans are furious right now, I’m sure. “What? But. . .it’s Star Wars. . .How can you not like it??”

I will tell you how.

First of all, I’m not saying I hated it. I enjoyed it enough and I definitely plan to see it again. There was so much to see on screen that you certainly need to view it more than once to take it all in properly. I did not hate every second of it. I left with a mostly satisfied feeling.

But let’s cover what did bother me and then we’ll end on a high note with the things I really enjoyed. WARNING: HUGE SPOILERS AHEAD.

1. Anakin and Padme – the dialogue between them was definitely lacking. I cringed during the whole “I love you because you love me” part. But that can be dismissed because what can you expect from Lucas except for bad direction? He’s nothing if not consistent.

2. Anakin and Padme – Yes. There’s more. How in the great big galaxy did NO ONE realize that Anakin and Padme were married and having a kid?? They LIVED together, people! This is no big shock. I spent half the movie thinking to myself, “But Obi Wan must know. How can no one know?” I was thoroughly confused.

Obi Wan turns to Padme at the end and says something like, “Anakin is the father, isn’t he?” Well, gee, genius, we may just have to elect you scholar of the year! Every time Anakin goes home he always goes to Padme. We never see some “front” apartment where he lives. Did people honestly believe he was living in a box on the street or something? C’mon!

3. Luke and Leia – Okay, Mr. Lucas, we all know that the twins end up being named Luke and Leia. What we didn’t know was how or why. Now we know the how (thanks) but not the why. They never show the couple discussing names for their kid. They never show any discussions at all about family names. What, did Padme just pull the names out of thin air? Give me a break. There should have been some explanation behind that.

4. Empire Strikes Back. “That boy is our last hope.” – Obi Wan
“No, there is another.” – Yoda
Once again, Lucas twists things to suit his needs with no concern for the fans or continuity at all. Obi Wan practically DELIVERED the twins. He KNOWS that Luke is not the last hope. So why does he say it? Hmm, much confused George Lucas is.

5. the most atrocious thing of all. The Jedi were taken out far too easily. Oh. . .my. . .god. . You’re going to tell me that Jedi MASTERS would not have put up any kind of fight? Would not have been able to sense something about to happen to them? They are constantly taking out droids so easily and defeating foes without batting an eye, but three clones with guns turn on them and they fall down helpless? I realize they had to die. I do. I know that’s Lucas actually sticking to some continuity and it’s appreciated. However, they could have gone down with a fight is all I’m saying. It was sad.

6. And what is with the clone troopers expressing not even an ounce of remorse over killing their comrades? I know that they serve the emperor. I know that they are made to follow orders. But one second the leader is handing Obi Wan’s saber back to him and joking around and the next he tries to kill him. I would have likes to have seen a sigh or a moment of hesitation in there somewhere. It’s wholly unbelievable that not one of them would give a care about it.

7. I don’t care how arrogant Anakin is. I don’t care how angry, how spiteful, how hate filled he is. There is no way in hell that he would go from feeling remorse over killing Mace Windu (or helping to) and still questioning the emperor’s motives in one second to kneeling before him and vowing to go kill younglings the next. I know that the emperor is the only one with the key to the dark side and therefore the key to saving Padme. But I just can’t make that link (and I don’t believe Anakin would have either) to where killing children helps save Padme. Nope, sorry, try again. Do not pass go and do not collect two hundred dollars.

8. I would have liked to have seen Yoda go to Dagobah and settle in for his self-induced exile. I also perked up when he mentioned Qui Gon and then they never even showed him. Cop out.

I did promise that there were things I liked about this movie. So please don’t try to force strangle me yet.

1. R2 Rocks. If you’ve seen the movie, that’s enough said about that. He just rocks.

2. Yoda rules. He could kick everyone’s ass and they make that abundantly clear. Go Yoda! Everyone in the theater cheered and clapped when he took out the would be assassins. And then when he ever climbed up on, I believe it was, Chewie’s back. . . Too sweet. It really made you even sadder to see what was happening to all the Jedi. When he took out the royal guards with a flick of the hand – another cheering moment. Wonderful. His duel with the emperor was good as well. Sending him toppling head over ass into his chair was great!

3. even though it was terribly disturbing, I’m glad they covered who exactly killed the younglings and how it was done. I was wondering if they would even touch upon it or leave it alone. Thank goodness that this was a dark movie and showing a bit of it was not beyond Lucas. It’s heart wrenching to see the little one go up to Anakin and say, “There’s too many of them. What will we do?” But I’m glad they stopped where they did.

4. The young one helping Bail Organa was great. You know the troopers were just going to shoot him in the back as he walked back to his ship. That young boy allowed him to escape and therefore be able to take care of Leia. It was a nice sacrifice to add to an already sad moment in the film.

5. The Mustafar scene is nicely done. The effects on Anakin as he burns are very good and it was disturbing to watch. I would have liked it “I have the high ground” had been mentioned in a practice duel between them or something. Something to make it more personal. (I know, this is half a complaint in the “good” section. Deal with it.) But seriously, when did it ever matter to a Jedi if an opponent had the high ground? Puh-lease. But I did almost shed a tear when Obi Wan said that Anakin was like a brother to him. Very sad.

6. Adult film. Finally, a Star Wars for adults! I saw a ton of little children there last night and was not enjoying that. There were kids crying during the nasty scenes and totally disturbing the movie. Do not take little kids to see this. It is intense and it ruins the movie for the rest of us. I'm so glad that it's finally for adults and not kids. That's how it should be. Watch it when you're older.

There was more little stuff that I enjoyed, but I’ll have to see it again to really appreciate it. It was better than 1 and 2 by far, but nothing can stand up to the original trilogy. I was disappointed, but that doesn’t stop me from rejoicing with the rest of fandom in a very bittersweet time – as Star Wars comes to a close. Something we’ve waited a long time for but, now that it’s here, I’m sure will be depressing as hell.

Star Trek closed last week as well. And for the first time in. . .eighteen years there won’t be any kind of Star Trek show on TV this coming fall. It’s a sad time for sci-fi, but a time for rejoicing as well. Wil Wheaton put it best in his blog when he said, “There was an explosion of geeky goodness in the last few years, and now it's time to step back, and . . . well, thin the herd, I guess. We're at the dawn of a new geek era. The sun is only setting on the prologue.”

::edit::
I forgot to cover one other thing that people are complaining about but that I think they are wrong about. It's covered perfectly on this cool blog I stumbled across today:

"At first glance, the final battle seems emotionless, but it's not. Obi-Wan pleads with Anakin at the beginning, middle, and end of this fight. This is his pupil, and he's gone horribly wrong. Obi-Wan cries, "I've failed you, Anakin," and makes a comment that Palpatine is evil. Anakin replies, "From my point of view, it's the Jedi who are evil." I mean, after all, aren't they holding him back, from his point of view? Obi-Wan also makes a heart-wrenching speech once Anakin starts getting cooked by the lava--"You were the chosen one! You were my brother! I loved you!" and Anakin says, "I hate you!" Geez...those are some damn emotional words being spoken during and after the duel."

This is so true. And it’s something I had forgotten about too. This moment was one of the maybe three or so that made me want to cry. That horribly vehement scream of “I hate you” at the end is very profound and sad. You can’t say that battle had no emotion. I certainly wasn’t on the edge of my seat as in the duel from episode one, but it gets you “right here”. ; )
::end edit::