Bad Bird!

I thought I would share a partial list of some things our birds do (we have a quaker parakeet, mustache parakeet, and four lovebirds). I got these off another site and there were a ton of them, but I just took the ones that apply to mine. Some of these make me laugh out loud thinking of them. Now read these and picture yourself at our zoo of a house.

· Even if it is fun, it's not nice to whistle for the dog and laugh at him when he comes (repeatedly).

· Humans who wear glasses need them. I will not insist on attempting to remove every pair I see.

· I shall cease doing my loudest scream in my humans ear right after I have snuggled up on her neck making kissing sounds and whispering I love you's into her ear. I also will not laugh my evilest laugh when she winces in pain and sits there with a dazed look on her face until she can hear again. (My Quaker Parrot's favorite way to push my buttons.)

· I should not hide quietly behind a stereo speaker when everyone is calling my name and looking for me. That is wicked.

· I will be consistent in my behavior. I will not step up one time and bite the next -- at least without SOME visible cue as to what I have planned. (But it sure is funny to keep her wondering!)

· I will not bob my head and laugh when misfortune befalls my humans and they trip or drop things, nor will I fly over and circle above their heads and shriek wildly to add to the melee.

· I will not climb in my human's hair when I have to go back in my cage.

· I will not climb on top of my cage whenever the opportunity arises and dare my human to get me down.

· I will not drop my treats through the mesh in the cage bottom and then beg for another one (20 times in a row!)

· I will not give my human kisses one second and next second give her the beak of death.

· I will not hang myself in my play ring to horrify unsuspecting guests then laugh and get out of the ring myself when they run over to help.

· I will not ignore my new expensive play toys.

· I will not indicate that I am finished with my snack by flinging my dish as far as possible.

· I will not interrupt the humans when they are imitating nature by making my female human's noises, which cause's them to laugh and get out of the mood. (this is why NEVER any birds in the bedroom rule applies)

· I will not land on people's shoulders unexpectedly and scare the !$#!& out of them. (that one’s for you, Kirsty)

· I will not play King Kong by hanging on the side of the budgies' cage. I am a macaw, not a gorilla. (okay, in my situation it’s quaker and lovebirds, but still)

· I will not put my head down to be scratched then whirl around and bite.

· I will not tell the nice policeman to "BITE ME" when my human is stopped for speeding. (Fortunately he had a sense of humour!) [mine’s never done this, but god that’s great]

· I will not want to go to sleep at 1:30 in the morning and wake up at 5:00 in the morning

· I will not fly like I'm fully flighted just after a wing clip.

· I will not add perforations to the cover of every paperback book I meet. My humans don't want to tear the covers off.

· I will not get mad at the cats for being "free" and then go into my humans' bedroom to chew her brand new cat lamp screaming "Bad Kitty" the whole time. (this one’s just funny)

· I will not make my human look stupid when she tells her friends I can talk.

· I will not yank earrings off people's ears.

· The R2D2 figure belongs on top of my human's computer monitor. (so true!)

· I will not deliberately egg on the guinea pigs in a competitive shrieking match. (our quaker parakeet does this with the dog and the lovebirds. He also imitates the lovebirds’ call)

· I will not freak out, drop to the bottom of my cage and scream every time someone walks by with a foreign object such as a trashcan or grocery sack.

· I will not scream as soon as the sun comes up on my human's day off.

· I will not scream at precisely eight PM every night for the human to turn the lights off.

· It is not my job to yell "Bad cat, get down!" whenever my feline brother jumps on the TV. (Gunther just yells “get down” at the dog)

· Screaming for no reason is annoying .

· I may be just a lovebird, but I will remember that I am not big enough to land on the cat and then preen his hair and bite him. The cat knows he is not allowed to touch me and therefore sulks after the experience because he can not eat me.

· I will remember the cat's tail is not a chew toy. (my African grey that Ray kept, once got a good hold of our cat’s tail. Yipes!)

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