Things I've Learned

When trash day is Monday and you are worried that you'll forget if you don't put it outside on the porch away from where the dog can get at it, don't do it. I say this because even when you think you are safe because you live on a busy street and it's not exactly the country, you are in fact very much not safe.
Because soon you will hear creepy rustling noises coming from outside your door and your dog will start growling menacingly and freaking you out. And then you slowly approach the door and then flip on the light and whip up the blinds all in one frantic movement.
And what do you see out on that porch in the middle of the night?







The biggest racoon I have ever seen in my life!! The thing was huge. I'm not even kidding you. It could have eaten me. I managed to scare it off by tapping on the window and begging it to leave. It looked at me with its big brown eyes and probably heard the pleading in my tone and finally meandered off down my stairs. After which I flung open the door, grabbed the trash, and slammed the door shut again as I locked it. We all slept safe last night folks.