What would I give
I've had my palm pilot for about three years now. It had every number I've ever needed, a ton of lists of things I need to do or buy, my entire schedule for the next year, so on and so forth. When I moved out of John's I couldn't find my charger right away. Well, silly me, I forgot that one of the warnings about it is if you let the battery run all the way down it will reset itself. I found the charger yesterday and plugged it in and fired up the palm pilot. It came up with the settings, which confused me....
I fixed the settings back to the right time and such and then started scrolling through my categories. Nothing. it's all gone. Every phone number I've ever gotten for work, home, whatever; it's all gone. My schedule is gone. My list of all the dvds, cds, and books that I want is gone. Every password I had ever saved on there is gone. I am so pissed, but what can I do? I have to start over now. Ah, what a great metaphor for my life.
I spent my first weekend at the apartment. It's lovely. i got all my stuff moved in. Paul and Joe brought their trailer out and got my furniture for me and moved it in cuz they rock. Sarah and Sadie came too. I treated everyone to Hot Dog Annie's afterward. It's this semi-famous place out here in Mass. I really love hanging out with all of them again. I can't believe that I missed four years out of all of our lives. But what could I do? I was living with my parents when Sarah got df'd... I had no choice. Not that that justifies it to me. It probably never will. I'll probably always feel guilty a little bit. I missed SO MUCH. Not just Sadie growing up, but stuff that went on in Paul and Sarah's lives and Joe's too. I wish I could have been there for all of them. I wish they could have been there for me at times too. "That's it; you're out of the herd!!"
I've been thinking a lot about my life lately - past, present, and future. It's hard not to with all the huge changes I've gone through lately. I kind of feel like I'm going to be the crazy bird lady all by myself, never get married or have kids.... That would be sad. I know that's probably not the case. Paul tells me not to limit myself so much and all. But it's hard to take someone else's advice about relationship stuff like that...
Going back to school is something I've been pondering. I just don't have the money or the time right now. Maybe I'll give myself the summer to relax and then start looking into classes in September that would start in the winter semester. It's been running through my head a bit because some of my friends have been saying "Oh, you were the 'smart one'. I can't believe you dropped out of college." If they had seen my life then they would have believed it. Let's see, what wasn't going on then?? I had just gotten married, I had two jobs, I was trying to make it to all my religious meetings, I was going to college full time, and I was trying to manage a household for the first time with all our pets. Something had to go and unfortunately it was college.
That's the only explanation I have for now. I don't even know what I'd do with a college degree... I don't need it for my job. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Happy.
I fixed the settings back to the right time and such and then started scrolling through my categories. Nothing. it's all gone. Every phone number I've ever gotten for work, home, whatever; it's all gone. My schedule is gone. My list of all the dvds, cds, and books that I want is gone. Every password I had ever saved on there is gone. I am so pissed, but what can I do? I have to start over now. Ah, what a great metaphor for my life.
I spent my first weekend at the apartment. It's lovely. i got all my stuff moved in. Paul and Joe brought their trailer out and got my furniture for me and moved it in cuz they rock. Sarah and Sadie came too. I treated everyone to Hot Dog Annie's afterward. It's this semi-famous place out here in Mass. I really love hanging out with all of them again. I can't believe that I missed four years out of all of our lives. But what could I do? I was living with my parents when Sarah got df'd... I had no choice. Not that that justifies it to me. It probably never will. I'll probably always feel guilty a little bit. I missed SO MUCH. Not just Sadie growing up, but stuff that went on in Paul and Sarah's lives and Joe's too. I wish I could have been there for all of them. I wish they could have been there for me at times too. "That's it; you're out of the herd!!"
I've been thinking a lot about my life lately - past, present, and future. It's hard not to with all the huge changes I've gone through lately. I kind of feel like I'm going to be the crazy bird lady all by myself, never get married or have kids.... That would be sad. I know that's probably not the case. Paul tells me not to limit myself so much and all. But it's hard to take someone else's advice about relationship stuff like that...
Going back to school is something I've been pondering. I just don't have the money or the time right now. Maybe I'll give myself the summer to relax and then start looking into classes in September that would start in the winter semester. It's been running through my head a bit because some of my friends have been saying "Oh, you were the 'smart one'. I can't believe you dropped out of college." If they had seen my life then they would have believed it. Let's see, what wasn't going on then?? I had just gotten married, I had two jobs, I was trying to make it to all my religious meetings, I was going to college full time, and I was trying to manage a household for the first time with all our pets. Something had to go and unfortunately it was college.
That's the only explanation I have for now. I don't even know what I'd do with a college degree... I don't need it for my job. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Happy.
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