Jade's Babblings

I never really finished writing much about this, did I? Hmm. . . I'll have to amend that now. Sunday morning, 4:15 a.m. I slept over Paul and Sarah's. If you can call it sleeping. I had a bit too much to drink Saturday night. One of those "hm, I'm pretty sure those bruises are from drunken karate pratice with Joe, but they could just as easily have been self inflicted" sort of nights. Did I mention I was very nervous about flying? So you'll have to excuse the alcoholism. Yes, you will! Okay then... I meant to wake up at about 4 and be out of there and showered and stuff by 4:20/4:30. I woke up at 4:15, as stated above. So that was fun. I kissed Paul and Sarah goodbye (yea, we're weird like that) and then ran out the door with my bags and got in my car to drive to my coworker's house. I had directions but of course that means nothing . I got lost of course. So even though I had been running late and was actually going to make it on time, I was then abou...

I'm shocked to discover this fact... Let me fill in the gaps a bit. Let's see... worked my ass off today from home. I didn't even get to nap or anything. I am therefore still exhausted. Then I went to karate. I am having so much fun with that. I'm actually sad that I have to go away on my business trip and miss two classes. The one other girl who is in that class but hasn't been in like six months showed up tonight. I thought she was like a senior or something because she's out of school already but I guess she's going to be a sophomore. I really like the people in the class. Some of them seem kind of young but they are really nice. And very welcoming. Man, karate kicked my ass tonight. I was still sore from Wednesday for some reason. And if I was sore before... Joe did the warm ups tonight and oh...my...god...Those hurt. Plus it's really great to have someone who's killing you like that say to "make sure you're smiling" while you do it...

I had dinner at Nate and Kim's. What a blast. I thought I would feel like a third wheel, but you know how you can totally avoid that feeling when you are around a couple who is just so comfortable with each other? That's how they are. They are just very welcoming and laid-back and I had a really great time. Kim even said she might want to take kenpo with me which might be interesting. I think I'm going to go to a couple more classes before I ask about anyone else joining or what have you. I left their house around nine (beautiful house, by the way) and drove out to Worcester to go the bar... diner.... club... whatever it was. What a totally random place. I don't know how I never heard about it before since there is literally a flashing sign on Grove st pointing to it... lol. We only watched maybe one song of one of the bands, but it was still a good time. Mostly we all sat at the bar and talked, which I much prefer to more impersonal atmospheres anyway. Joel was there o...

We've booked our flight. We're flying Southwest (like on A&E's Airline. yay) on June 18th. We leave at 7:50 in the morning from Providence and arrive in LA at 12:15 their time. Then we fly from LA to San Jose and get there at 2:15 their time. Then we pick up our car and head over to the hotel . We'll have the rest of the day Sunday to get settled in and maybe go out to dinner or something. But I don't know if I'll be doing any sightseeing with the gals because Seth is supposed to meet me at the hotel after I arrive. I'm really excited to meet him finally. We've been chatting on the phone and online for a couple months now and we have a ton in common. It's nice to talk to someone who understands how tough it is to be disfellowshipped. I've been finding in my past couple "relationships" that opposites attract definitely but it doesn't mean it will work out. That's depressing because I seem to really have a spark with certain p...

Exhausting. It's not that it was a bad weekend. It was actually quite a nice one. But I am basically running on empty right now. I fell asleep driving on the pike yet AGAIN this morning. Didn't I say I was going to stop doing that? My alarm went off at 6:01 a.m. today and I didn't get out of bed until 6:54 a.m. yea.... Not a good start to your day. I left the house late, got into work late, etc. We are booking our flight to Cali today. Help. Friday night Joel came over for movies. We watched Ocean's 11 and Ocean's 12, both of which are hilarious films. I just love them. He ended up staying until 2:30 a.m. after which I immediately fell asleep on the couch. And the night before I didn't sleep in my bed either. And then Saturday I went shopping with Sarah for karate clothes (found some after three hours of shopping) and then stayed up at their house all night again so last night was the first night in four that I slept in my own bed. After all that it finally seem...

When trash day is Monday and you are worried that you'll forget if you don't put it outside on the porch away from where the dog can get at it, don't do it. I say this because even when you think you are safe because you live on a busy street and it's not exactly the country, you are in fact very much not safe. Because soon you will hear creepy rustling noises coming from outside your door and your dog will start growling menacingly and freaking you out. And then you slowly approach the door and then flip on the light and whip up the blinds all in one frantic movement. And what do you see out on that porch in the middle of the night? The biggest racoon I have ever seen in my life !! The thing was huge. I'm not even kidding you. It could have eaten me . I managed to scare it off by tapping on the window and begging it to leave. It looked at me with its big brown eyes and probably heard the pleading in my tone and finally meandered off down my stairs. After which I fl...

I'm going to go buy a villa in Tuscany and become a writer. I've decided just now. The lovebirds can come too and they can have an outdoor aviary that's huge for them to fly around in. Pixel and Amelie can have a big fenced in yard to run around in and Gunther can have his own bird room. I'll write outside in the sun all day and have a writing desk inside for bad days. With my inspirational gourd birdhouse from Aunt Mary hanging over the desk. Maybe it won't exactly be Tuscany, but you know the more I live on my own and learn that I can pretty much just depend on myself, the more I want to try a new type of life. As different as possible. I don't want to fall into a rut in my life and fall back on old habits. So I'm moving. Okay, not really. But it's nice to sit back and dream. "What are four walls, anyway? They are what they contain. The house protects the dreamer. Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game. It's such a surprise...

It's 10:30 a.m. Today is Friday which rocks. It's jeans day at work, but I like to call it "chucks day" since I can regularly be seen skipping (just a bit) down the work hallways in my nice comfy chucks. The girls and I have started a tradition of going out for lunch on Fridays. It's probably a dumb thing to do with my budget but I just cut back on stuff on the weekend then. Besides, it's worth it to get out of here for an hour and just go spend time together outside of work. That way we aren't at each other's throats. Though that situation is about to get a bit better. For three of us anyway... They found a spare one-person cubicle down the hallway and they are sticking two of us in there and the other three will stay here in the slightly larger cube. J and I volunteered to go but everyone thought it would be more fair if we drew names. So it's actually going to be T and I who go. . . Which is fine. So I've got lunch to look forward to in...

This was easily the worst on call weekend I have ever had. I have had difficult cases before that take you a couple hours to work out and such but this was ridiculous. It started Friday night on my way home from the 501st event. A quick side note on that - it was a lot of fun and I'm really glad I went. Bagpipe music is a lot of fun and I always love doing the 501st events that are smaller and only involve a few of us. It was me, Jason, Justin, Chris and John (not my John, another one). I took photos all night and talked with some firefighters and EMTs a little bit. The firefighters seemed ticked off about having their pics taken, but then later they cornered me and asked why I didn't take more pictures.... ? Also, the guy running it must have thought there was no way that there would ever be women in the 501st because he would never look at me directly and he kept talking to the guys and asking questions even if I was standing right in front of him. I hate that. Made me wish I...

This is where Joe, Paul, Sarah, Sadie and I went for dinner last night. It was kind of random. Paul called me to tell me that Joe had asked the sole if Ericka was working last night. I'm pretty sure he did it as a joke to annoy me cuz Sarah and I just LOVE watching everyone flirt with Ericka. . . lol. But I kind of thought, "Eh, why not?" I haven't seen her in about three years, haven't talked to her in two. The last time we spoke was through text messages and it was right after I left Ray. I felt like everyone was taking "his side", which was hard not to do I'll grant you that, and I kind of withdrew from everyone. I love going to the Sole to see Ericka. It's always a good time. This noisy restaurant in the middle of Worcester. . . Maybe I should explain who Ericka is. She's in my reference entry, but you people are lazy so you probably haven't read it. Ericka is my big sister. Our families were close enough that had my parents died wh...

I promised I'd get to the top 50 book quotes someday. Here they are. I'm sure I'm going to forget some and kick myself later, but I have so very many quotes collected in journals and such that there's not much I can do to avoid that anyway. Enjoy. (The top 50 movie quotes are linked over on the left-hand side of my blog.) 1. "The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies." -- Fahrenheit 451 2. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough. --The Notebook High Fidelity was such a good book that it gets a few quotes on the countdown. 3. All relationships need the kind of violent shove that a crush brings. 4. I know what's wrong with Laura. What's wrong with Laura is that I'll never see her for the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd time again. 5. It seems to me t...

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots that my tongue was tied off my brain's repeating "if you've got an impulse let it out" but they never make it past my mouth. baa bah, this is the sound of settling baa bah, baa bah our youth is fleeting old age is just around the bend and i can't wait to go gray and i'll sit and wonder of every love that could've been if i'd only thought of something charming to say. baa bah, this is the sound of settling baa bah, baa bah i've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots. I had a rough night last night. I was on-call for J again. I got a LOT of overtime. I basically worked from 8 a.m. to midnight on cases. I got four phone calls. They started coming in before I was even home. I wanted to drive out to Spencer to return Elizabethtown to Big Video but I had to turn around and head right home instead. All the cases were annoying and terrible complicated. It was very frustrating. ...

Is it just me or is that song WAY overplayed on the radio lately? I love it and all but this is why people get sick of generic radio music. Every station plays the same songs over and over until something that was well-written and lovely becomes annoying. I watched Elizabethtown last night. It was interesting. Not as cute as I was hoping for. The best parts were probably them on the phone at the beginning because you can totally watch it and remember having all night fascinating conversations like that with people. They could have taken a much different turn with that movie. I really think that the trailers made it look like they were going to be on the phone through the whole thing and that they should have stuck with that idea. It would have made the movie more intense and interesting if the characters did not meet up again until later. The one thing that's good is that I do like more typical love stories like that. At least they have a chance in hell of actually happening in re...

I've had my palm pilot for about three years now. It had every number I've ever needed, a ton of lists of things I need to do or buy, my entire schedule for the next year, so on and so forth. When I moved out of John's I couldn't find my charger right away. Well, silly me, I forgot that one of the warnings about it is if you let the battery run all the way down it will reset itself. I found the charger yesterday and plugged it in and fired up the palm pilot. It came up with the settings, which confused me.... I fixed the settings back to the right time and such and then started scrolling through my categories. Nothing. it's all gone. Every phone number I've ever gotten for work, home, whatever; it's all gone. My schedule is gone. My list of all the dvds, cds, and books that I want is gone. Every password I had ever saved on there is gone. I am so pissed, but what can I do? I have to start over now. Ah, what a great metaphor for my life. I spent my first w...

I swung by my apartment yesterday on my way home from work. The power company came and so I was finally able to see the place with some lights on. It's even brighter and more cheery and cute than I thought it would be. I have some awesome lighting in the kitchen hidden in the ceiling. Awesome is hardly a word I would have ever used to describe lighting before this week but there it is. I have two closets in the bedroom and though neither has a light directly in it, the light from the bedroom is more than enough. I am so psyched . Officially I guess I could move in tomorrow night because I traded my on call with Brooke. She's taking tomorrow night so I can go couch shopping and I'll take Sunday for her. But I don't really want to move in without cable because nick at nite is like my safe place and if I can't sleep I know I'm not going to want to just sit up and read. Work is good. To quote Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty - "It's Goooood" The pets a...

After only having to view a few places, I found an apartment. It's not the Webster one, which is disapponting since it would have been nice to be down the street from Sarah and Paul. But it's only about a half hour from them, and 20 minutes down the road from my parents. Whether that's good or bad remains to be seen. :) I am very happy with my one bedroom apartment. It has plenty of room for me and my pets and it is very cute. My mom and I just cleaned the whole place like mad today and it's all set for me to officially move in on Saturday. hell yea! I am so excited. This will be my first time actually being on my own and I can't wait. I've already started decorating. I'll post pics when I can. John kept the nice digital camera which sucks so I've got nothing for now but once I save up some money that will be one of the first things I buy cuz I really can't live without a camera.

I was going to hang out at my parents' house for a while, save some money, settle in a bit. But I've decided that after getting married when I was 19 and being out of the house and semi-on my own ever since then, there is no way I can tough it out under Mom and Dad's roof for too long. Kirsty put a deposit down on an apartment a couple towns away over the weekend and we came up with the idea that I should move into her place that she's in now. That way we can each move at our own pace. Her apartment is ideal because it's a one bedroom, it's on the same street as my work, it's in my price range, AND they take pets. So we found out I could have it but then Kirsty thought it would be better for her to stay there and save some money since the other one she found is more expensive. So that was disappointing but it's cool because I have some other leads. There's a two bedroom in Webster for only $550 and there's a place in southbridge for $715. Southb...

The memorial was lovely last night. Brother Castinguay gave the talk. He treated it as if no one really knew what the event was about so that people who weren't JWs wouldn't be lost. I kind of liked it that way. There are never enough seats in Southbridge because the Kingdom Hall is so tiny so my mom and I had to split up. If I weren't disfellowshipped that wouldn't be awkward at all. haha. But Monique let me sit with her which was nice. All the Elders were smiling at me and Dawn smiled at me from her seat too. God I miss Dawn. She really is a great friend. So our license keys group took over this other type of licensing on Monday. It's been a looooooong week. We have a lot of stuff that we do anyway and now this is adding about five hours on to our work day. Whew. We've been wicked busy today. We had a few hours of training yesterday with one of the guys from the group (who looked a wicked lot like Mark from "rent", kind of neat). It's helpful an...

"Have you ever been committed?" "No, but could we try that next?" I went to Riverside outpatient counseling today. After making a trip to the ER last week for drugs so I could sleep, my doctor told me to make an appointment there. I wasn't even sure what it was walking into it this morning, but I guess it's like this emergency crisis short term center with psychiatrists and therapists and all that good stuff. I chatted with a woman there for about an hour about all sorts of uncomfortable stuff. lol. I get to see who I will now call "the pill doctor" next thursday and I see Megan (the woman I talked to today) next Friday. Joy.... my life is going to be filled with doctors appointments again. But at least it'll be filled with drugs too. :) Pixel, Amelie and Gunther are loving life in the country. So am I. Pixel now runs around in the yard without her leash. I still stay out there with her and call her back when she wanders too close to the fence,...

Wow, nothing makes you feel 16 again like moving back in with your parents and staying in your old high school bedroom. It's quite an experience. John and I split up so I'm here for the time being. I've got Pixel and Amelie and Gunther with me and I have to pick up the lovebirds this week. I missed last week of work due to being sick at the beginning and then the move and stuff. I couldn't sleep very well. Let me tell ya though - ambien, xanax, and paxil all together work wonders. That'll knock you right out. Pixel is already bossing around my parents' dogs Kumba and Molly. she bit Molly's nose yesterday. Brat. And Amelie has decided that the upstairs of the house is hers. As weird as it is to be back home, I think it will be good in the long run. I'm going to take like a year to regroup. We'll see how much of that time it takes me to get reinstated and such. Who knows. In the meantime, I now have an hour drive to work, $10,000 of debt to take care ...